Self-Esteem and the Gospel

A wide perspective on self-esteem and the Gospel already exists; I would however like to approach it subjectively. Earlier in my days of salvation my self-esteem skied rocket high as I learned about what God’s thoughts are about me as an individual which was of tremendous help in building my then fragmented self-esteem.  As I progressed with the Lord a conflict occurred between elevating self-esteem and truly embracing the teaching of the Gospel of Christ. The way I understood self-esteem was that I am of great importance, I have a great destiny ahead of me, nations will bow before me, I am here to change the world…A wrong understanding of self-esteem exalts self which contradicts the Gospel. Self-esteem sermons are preached from the pulpits; and they are very helpful for a time yet as you grow in the Lord the soul yearns for the true Gospel. And as you embrace the true Gospel the Holy Spirit teaches you how to approach self-esteem in the correct manner.

In describing self-esteem Kent & Barbara Hughes had this to say. Firstly, “In contrast to a biblical approach, the secular self-esteem movement and its religious counterparts, which have achieved the dubious distinction in Modern life of being both politically and religiously correct, are perceived as panaceas for all individual and societal ills”, secondly, “The religious version of the cult of self-esteem is the erroneous belief that self-love unlocks the Christian faith, thus the modern Christian life is grounded on self-esteem rather than humility, in contrast to the practice in previous generations”, and lastly they critiqued the self-esteem movement as being both “unbiblical” and “self-absorbed”.  Through great lengths of explanation they concluded that a healthy and biblical self-esteem consists of the following; “We are bad. We are wonderful. We are accepted. And we are fathered”.  In essence what they mean is that having a high regard of self is not a solution to sin, but knowing that in our badness and imperfections, we are still loved and accepted by God our Father and are wonderful in His sight.

I believe that The Holy Spirit is breaking down the walls of self in my heart in this season.  Like most people, my self-esteem increases when I perform well at work. Lately however, I would get into a classroom and try to teach the work I’ve prepared and my learners would pay no attention to me. They would literally leave the class while I’m teaching, shout across the room with each other as if I’m non-existent and just make funny comments when I enter the classroom. For someone who considers themselves a “good” teacher, this was a blow to my self-esteem.  It helped me put my focus on Christ rather than on my performance though, because days are different but He remains constant.  He is the same yesterday and today and forever (Hebrews 13:8).

As one whose self-esteem increased with the many reactions on social media, having nothing interesting to post about myself has been one of the ways the Holy Spirit is working on me.  No travelling, no learners writing sweet letters, no mega church, no boasting about a child I’m taking care of, no weight loss progress- nothing whatsoever to seek self-esteem from the approval of social media. I am guided towards a path of quietly seeking Christ, building my relationship with Him, and growing in Him without having to publicize it. After all, it is a personal matter that will bring me no self-esteem but will exalt Christ in my heart.  Sometimes we are unable to “decrease” ourselves and let Christ increase as John the Baptist exhorted (John 3:30), so the Lord will do the work in us by placing us in unfavorable circumstances. It is God who works in us to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose (Philippians 2:13).

Although the novel “Things Fall Apart” is fiction, we can learn a great lesson of what happens when people pride in the things that increase their self-esteem rather than accepting and believing the Gospel. Okonkwo, the main character is enormously disappointed in his father to the point of working extremely hard to avoid ending up like him. He works hard to earn power which gives him a high self-esteem in society. He gains honor by defeating Amalinize the Cat in a wresting competition which obviously increases his self-esteem.  He lives in a patriarchal society which gives him a number of privileges. He shows a strong sense of duty in sticking to and promoting the values that keeps his self-esteem on a pedestal.  Okonkwo has thus achieved fame, self-fulfillment and respect. All this falls suddenly with the arrival of the Europeans who challenges the Igbo traditions by presenting the Gospel of Christ. It's easy for the village outcasts to believe the Gospel since their self-esteem is already fragmented but it is a different story for Okonkwo and his counterparts.  The Gospel to him means loss of self-esteem, a punctured ego, a crumbling identity, and fame that transforms to shame. The Gospel  gives a healthy self-regard to everyone including those considered weak, lame, cursed, unwanted, and passive- that whole saying of "all being equal at the foot of the cross", but to Okonkwo it is a tragedy he ends up committing suicide.

It gets depressing as I lose my self-esteem; it sometimes feel like there’s nothing to live for.  But day by day as a follower of Christ I am comforted in the fact that the Gospel is all about Jesus Christ and less about me. No good works can validate me but I find validation in Christ alone and in His word.  Some days ago the Holy Spirit led me (I believe) to this piece of scripture from Isaiah 49:1-4 (NLT) which was of great  comfort in this season of my life:

“The Lord called me before my birth; from within the womb he called me by my name. He has hidden me in the shadow of his hand. I am like a sharp arrow in his quiver. He said to me “You are my servant, and you will bring me glory.” I replied, “But my work seems useless! I have spent my strength for nothing and to no purpose. Yet I leave it all in the Lord’s hand; I will trust God for my reward.” The Lord has honored me and my God has given me strength.”