A Hard Decision- Part 5

So, I decided to send him back home for the next year and it wasn’t a smooth process. I have disappointed so many people. I received a phone call from my aunt after Reatile had gone home sarcastically “thanking me” for taking Reatile in. I say sarcastically because she ended up trying to guilt trip me by saying that “I failed God for failing Reatile”. Extended family members! They only see your worth when you have something to offer them. This is the same aunt who told us that we were dodging chores by going to church a few hours once a week when we were children. The God that I have shamed, which one is he? I told her that she was talking nonsense, and with a click in my tongue, hung up the phone!

Reatile’s mother told me that I am destroying her child’s life by “punishing him as if I was punishing an adult”. She said she didn’t expect me to do this to her especially using her child. She said she expected that I would finish what I had begun by taking Reatile to school though he didn’t have to live with me. Everyone told me that he’s a child and all children are difficult. Well, by the advice of a strong support system, I found my voice and said, let them be difficult to their own mothers! Mine are still coming! This has been a very difficult period, but as I write this I feel a sense of relief that I’ve done the right thing. Sometimes I’m unable to process my emotions but I keep asking God for wisdom and guidance to lead me through. I took Reatile in to give him a better life and he wasn’t grateful for my sacrifices, in fact he grew more entitled. Apparently he went back home and bad mouthed me as thoroughly as he could, stating everything that I had said and done out of context and making himself ought to be a victim. I am angry and saddened about that but I am trusting God. If I’m wrong He will rebuke and discipline me, and if I’m right He will vindicate for me. 

This year has taught me to set boundaries with family members. It has taught me to grow and make decisions knowing that alone will live with them. It has taught me to invest in the lives of my unborn children, and not allow extended family members to mingle in my marriage be it come.  Sometimes things have to get rough before they fall into place. Maybe this is also a wakeup call for my cousin to actually get a job and fulfill her calling as a mother- I don’t know. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future”(Jeremiah 29:11). I might not be using this verse in context for this particular situation, but I’m hopeful in the unchanging nature of God, that even for me and my family, His plans are not for harm but to bring us good.