Characteristics of women who love too much, by Robin Norwood

1)      Typically come from a dysfunctional home in which their emotional needs were not met.

2)      Having received little nurturing, they try to fill that unmet need vicariously by becoming a caregiver, especially to men who appear in some way needy.

3)      Because they were not able to change their parent(s) into the warm, loving caretaker(s) they longed for, they respond deeply to the familiar type of emotionally available men whom they can again try to change through their love.

4)      Terrified of abandonment, they will do anything to keep a relationship from dissolving.

5)      Almost nothing is too much trouble, takes too much time, or is too expensive if it will ‘help’ the man they are involved with.

6)      Accustomed to lack of love in personal relationships, they are willing to wait, hope, and try harder to please.

7)      They are willing to take far more than 50 percent of the responsibility, guilt, and blame in any relationship.

8)      Their self-esteem is critically low, and deep inside they don’t believe they deserve to be happy. Rather, they believe they must earn the right to enjoy life.

9)      They have a desperate need to control their men and their relationships, having experienced little security in childhood. They mask their efforts to control people and situations as ‘being helpful.’

10)   In a relationship, they are much more in touch with their dream of how it could be than with the reality of their situation.

11)   They are addicted to men and to emotional pain.

12)   They may be predisposed emotionally and often biochemically to become addicted to drugs, alcohol and/or certain foods, particularly sugary ones.

13)   By being drawn to people that need fixing, or by being enmeshed in situations that are chaotic, uncertain, and emotionally painful, they avoid focusing on their responsibility to themselves.

14)   They have a tendency toward episodes of depression, which they try to forestall through the excitement provided by unstable relationships.

15)   They are not attracted to men  who are kind, stable, reliable and interested in them