“What is truth?” Pilate asked. –John 18:38
With all that was happening during the events leading to
Jesus’ crucifixion, I presume many people in the chaotic situation such as
Pilate wondered what the truth could be. He asked, “What is truth?” but never
got a response. Personally, I have moments in my Christian journey when I
contemplate and reflect on what truth could be. I wake up in the early mornings
and with all my being strive for truth. In the hope of hearing an audible voice
from the One whom I seek, I resort to clinging to the Bible as the only truth.
There are moments where circumstances are favorable and in accordance with my
morning prayers, but more times also when my faith and the truth I know is
tested. It becomes chaotic. Inner turmoil, anger, resentment, and blame towards
God are not uncommon in how I feel at this stage of my Christian journey. Yet
still, I seek truth.
My experience in a relationship which I consider as toxic
drove me to search for truth. Through that experience I realized how easy it is
to be deceived by one’s own illusions and other people’s pretense. I went into
the relationship with a naïve mindset thinking that the person I was involved
with would protect my sexual purity since he had claimed to be a pastor. Anyone
can be a pastor these days anyway…does truth even matter when it seems as if
anyone can get away with anything? The time I got into the relationship I was
not thinking rationally. The mistake I made was that while I was being pursued,
I did not take some time to pray and wait, and seek the truth of God regarding
the relationship. I got deceived by the idea of being in a relationship without
first committing my decision to the Lord and seeking His wisdom, strength, and
maturity to be able to handle the challenges that arises henceforth. And then
when things did not go according to the vision I had in mind for my
relationship, I blamed God- that He could have protected me, why didn’t He?
Nothing
will be right if it is wrong. Nothing that is wrong will ever come out right. -
CS Lewis
As Christians we tend to establish our lives on falsehood
and expect Godly results. We really deceive ourselves into thinking that we can
live however we want to live and speak some positive affirmations that will
counteract the seeds we are planting through our actions. We expect God to just
give us what we want without really loving Him or wanting Him. We want what we
want so God must just give us what we want! The Christian life is more than this;
it is abiding in the truth. “What is
truth?” Pilate asked. The enlightenment to this question in my life comes
through sufferings, fallings, and weaknesses. Could truth be forgetting my
personal ambitions and desires and follow the route of self-denial? Could it be
laying down my wishes for marriage, fame, and riches? Could truth be giving up
the need to make decisions that prompt me to cater to my flesh at times when it
seems insignificant?
In my pursuit of searching for truth I realize that
inevitably abiding in truth should set me free. “To the Jews who believed in Him, Jesus said, ‘If you hold on to my
teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the
truth will set you free.’”- John8:31-32. The fact of always having to
bear the painful consequences of our sins is a result of attempting to escape
the truth that we know during tempting and challenging moments. We think we
could just ‘put in a lie’ here and there and still expect God to work. Our
churches are filled with a lot of noise and no operation of the Spirit of God
because we have gotten away with falsehood in our little lives and when we get
together as a Church there is lack of power but only a show! One other thing is
that we tend to make excuses for and rationalize our sins which prevent us from
moving forward in our Christian journey.
I tend to blame God a lot regarding the relationship I got
myself into. Bursting out in tears I shout, “You should have protected me!” Protected you from what?, you ask. From myself, from deception. But
though I desired the right thing, I was willing to compromise and entertain falsehood.
As I abide in truth I discover that the excuses I make of loneliness and
wanting intimacy are just a make-pretense for continuing in a sinful lifestyle...am I even ready to pay the price that comes with marriage. If I’m not willing to accept the truth that intimacy is found in abiding in
Christ’s love, I will embrace the lies that it’s all about pleasures of the
flesh. How can God protect me when I want nothing to do with the truth? “Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life”
how can He protect me when I don’t want Him but only what He can give me? As I
seek the truth I am inspired by Ellen G White’s words, “Satan
can present a counterfeit so closely resembling the truth that it deceives
those willing to be deceived, who desire to shun the sacrifices demanded by the
truth. But it is impossible to hold under his power one soul who honestly
desires, at whatever cost, to know the truth.”
We should not make prayers that aren’t aligning with the
truth of God’s Word. We should not allow emotions though they’re so powerful to
stray us away from the truth that we know. We should not allow the confusion
and chaos of our circumstances to cause us to forget the truth of God’s
promises, lest we be deceived by counterfeits.
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