I watched a
movie (romantic drama/comedy) with my best friend a while ago and at the end of
the movie we were just appalled at how movies display such happy endings
regarding love without showing the waiting process in-between. I hope to
contribute a real story of the waiting process so let me use the platform
(blogging) that I have to reach people going through the same process. Unlike
in movies, where at one moment a person experiences hurt and then the next
experiences deep love from their “soul mate”, real life is far different. The
reality for single Christians is self-denial of emergent natural feelings of
their sexuality in the pursuit of lasting intimacy. The process involves
anxiety, worry, fear, doubts, shortcomings, discouragement and despair of one
ever finding true love. Don’t get me wrong, living life as a single Christian
is the best ever but the emotions described above do exist, and as we get older
the waiting process seems really long and ridiculous so instead of really
surrendering this area of our lives to God, we tend to take matters in our own
hands. Love between a man and a woman is very beautiful and pure; desired to be
experienced by all, hence many fall for its counterfeit.
I fell for
it too, many times. But none had such an imprinted impact on me as the one I
recently experienced. In 2014 I met a guy whom as it usually start I was
attracted to. I was doing my practical teaching and he worked there. We were
not in close contact at any time but he had a way of looking at me that always
kept him at the back of my mind. We somehow ended up being friends on Facebook
but never took it far than that. Well, I gave him my number which he never
really did use. He’d just call and not really say anything…on one or two
occasions he made plans to come see me but didn’t follow up. So, I made a
decision based on those incidents that although I felt that he was attractive
to me I would not entertain him any longer. We never spoke much since then
until late last year and this year (2017). What a co-incidence that he came at
a time when I had just waved goodbye to my ex’s and really embracing the new
person who’d come into my life. In my head automatically that person would be
sent by God and everything would be perfect for me since I did a very hard
thing of letting go of all the ex’s of the past. He also came at a time when I
felt alone most of the time, and the desire for intimacy and love was at its
greatest peak. When he came it felt good because I learned that he’s a pastor
so I reckoned that his character and fruit would closely resemble that of Jesus
Christ.
Everything
was initiated through text messaging, which brings me to my first point of the
nature of toxic people. They initiate romantic relationships a lot on social
media. It’s as if they go through one profile after the next being tantalized
by all the pictures and lifestyles portrayed there with the aim of choosing
whoever would be suitable for them. I am not saying that this one did this, but
I’m just describing from observation and experience the nature of toxic people.
Social media has made it easy for people to be deceived by counterfeit love
because on the other side of the screen a person chooses to become whatever is
appealing to his target.
As
everything was initiated on social media, he sent me video clips of him
preaching which really made me open up to the idea of us being close friends. One Sunday he came to see me all the way from
Mafikeng, with his bible on the dashboard of his car, preached the word to me,
and left the same day. I was on cloud 9! From everything he had said to me and
had done that day, I had concluded that he was different from the other guys I
had been with. I asked him why back in 2014 he always called and never said
anything, he said it was because during that time he was very serious about his
relationship with God (Fasting/ all night prayers etc.) so he didn’t want to
waste my time without being sure that I was the woman for him, but now he was
certain. I felt a sense of security that this 36 year old man knows really what
he wants and to top that up he’s Christian, a pastor!!
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