My Appointment with Jesus

I smiled as the landing of my foot on the ground got accompanied by a loud thunder last night during the wonderful rain! It reminded me of the saying:  “Be the kind of woman that when you hit the floor the devil says “oh no!!!” she’s up! Yesterday after pastor At talked about the renewing of the mind at church I strongly felt that there were some areas in my mind that needed serious renewing! I’ve read about the renewing of my mind before , and yes I do speak positive things, but what is really going on in my mind when I go through hard times or when I’m just not feeling “good?” In the bus on my way from church I decided to make an appointment with Jesus! This is how the typed programme looked like:

Time: 3am

Date: 12/11

Place: my room

Theme: any, just come with an expectant heart

Agenda: talk about the renewing of my mind

Topics to cover:

Thoughts concerning how I see myself

Thoughts concerning how others see me

Thoughts concerning my parents

Thoughts concerning my relationship with men

Thoughts concerning my studies

Thoughts concerning my sexuality

Thoughts concerning my enemies

Thoughts concerning my finances

Thoughts concerning my friends and the company I keep

Thoughts concerning my future and vision

I realized I’m at a greater need for the renewing of my mind more than Jesus was so instead of relying on the Holy Spirit to wake me up in the middle of the night this time I might as well set myself an appointment at 3am because this was very critical for growth in my spiritual life, and boy, I was anticipating the appointment with King Jesus! I knew that something was going to come out of it! It’s just like any other meeting that you attend, goals are set, agendas and visions discussed, and conclusions made! This relationship with my King is a two way thing. If God can take the time to wake me up in the middle of the nights just to spend time with me, why can’t I also put time aside in the middle of the night just to spend time with Him? This is called pressing in!!

I knelt down besides my bed invited Jesus to bless me with His presence (I know that He was already there even before I pitched)and went through the events of the day with Him and what Pastor At talked about during the service! After saying all that I wanted to say I became silent and said, “alrighty, now you can talk to me King Jesus!” See, it’s all about believing that Jesus speaks too, He’s not just a man in the bible, He’s more than a man, He is the Word of life and He speaks through His Word! Hallelujah! After a few minutes He told me to turn my bible to John chapter 11! God will not keep you waiting! If you take the time to be still and allow Him to also speak to you, He won’t play guessing games with you or leave you trying to figure out things on your own! God’s plan is not to frustrate you but to guide you into all truth! John chapter 11 is all about Lazarus and the whole process how Jesus brought him to life again! (Please read it) In verse 4 Jesus said, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby!” Jesus was telling me it’s the same with every matter I presented before Him in my agenda! He was saying, everything that I had been through was not to kill me but for God’s glory! (^“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis50:20)

Mary and Martha cried unto Jesus, presenting Lazaru’s case before him and in verse 25, Jesus said, “I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live!”  After saying all that He asked Martha, “Believest thou this?” He told her who He was and what He could do, but the rest depends entirely on Martha’s faith! Do you believe that I can raise Lazarus from the dead? Friend, do you believe that God can turn your impossible situation around! This is what Jesus was asking me right there as I knelt down on my bedside! “Titi, you have presented me with things that you want to change, and they have been going on all your life, but right now, do you believe that I can change those situations around!?”

The story goes on and in verse 35, “Jesus wept!” See, just like Lazarus’ death, Jesus still weeps over Christians who are dead in the Spirit or are not producing any fruit because they have not yet renewed their minds! Jesus weeps when He sees a Christian speaking words or thinking thoughts that break down his life instead of building it! Jesus weeps when a Christian thinks that he is a failure, he is broke, he is sick and dying, things will never go right between him and his mother, he will not find love, he will not go anywhere in life! (“As a man thinketh, so is he!” Proverbs23:7) I knew all this but after Pastor At went deep into the message I knew that I had to make an appointment with the ressurector of my dreams, my thoughts, my vision, my success! The one who is the life and could breathe life into my stubborn mind that always wants to conform to the standards of this world!

As the story continues…After everything that had been said and done between Martha and Jesus, he told her, “Take ye away the stone!” He was saying open the grave; I have raised Lazarus from death! But what did Martha do? Doubted! Just a few minutes ago she claimed that she believed that Jesus was the resurrection and life but as soon as Jesus tells her to put her faith in action she starts doubting! “Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days.” If I was Jesus I was going to say, “okay, stay with your unbelief, I’m out, a lot of believing people out there are in need and need me anyway!” But Jesus is not like that, He is patient! He asked, “Didn’t I say that if you believe you will see the glory of God!?”  I knew that Jesus was asking me the same thing! Yes, my relationship with my parents had not been the best in this life but do I believe now that He can change it all around? Yes, I have failed all my life in tertiary but do I believe now that God can change this situation around!! , “Didn’t I say that if you believe you will see the glory of God!?”

The story continues…After the stone had been rolled away, Lazarus came out with bound hand and foot with grave clothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin! Jesus said in verse 44, “Loose him, and let him go!” During our appointment Jesus was saying to my negative thoughts, “loose her and let her go!!!” Doubt, unbelief, fear, loose her and let her go!! Inferiority, timidity, low self-esteem, loose her and let her go!  Lack, poverty, brokenness, loose her and let her go! Sicknesses, infirmity, weakness, loose her and let her go! Sexual immoralities, lust, Jezebel, loose her and let her go! Unforgiveness, haterd, pride, loose her and let her go! Today I am a brand new creature old things have passed away! I am complete, supplied, blessed, rich, beautiful, not intimidated or less inferior, I maintain healthy relationships! All this is possible because Jesus the life and the resurrection, has breathed a new anointing in my mind!