Fasting, an act of repentance!

I was never really much of a “fasting person” in the past and I never really thought that I'd successfully achieve it someday! Last year I could control my eating habits and stay away from food, but it was more of a weight issue then it was spiritual! And besides if I didn’t eat junk, then I had to have some fruit and veggies all the time!!

When God told me to fast, I thought it was just one of those days where I'm just going to give up in the process so I didn’t really take it  to heart. But the urge just grew intensely in my spirit and I knew that it didn’t come from my instincts this time around, it came from God and I had to obey. God knows how much I love my food, how I value nutritional value and all that, but sometimes we have to withdraw from the things we like to seek God's face and intervention! 

One evening God said to me, tomorrow your fast begins! I did not really take it to consideration because I had tried to fast so many times with no success! When I got up in the morning I felt the seriousness to this matter and so I asked God to give me the strength! The Holy Spirit brought Joshua Chapter one to my spirit. Verse 11 says,

 “Pass through the camp and command the people, saying, ‘Prepare provisions for yourselves, for within three days you will cross over this Jordan, to go in to possess the land which the Lord your God is giving you to possess.’”

 With so much excitement I knew that God was telling me to fast for three days. He also reminded me of Jesus' crucifixion. He died and was buried, but on the third day, he rose again! So God was basically saying to me that I should fast for three days, and on the third day, my victory will be awaiting me! My fast was like this: I did not eat or drink anything all day for three days before 4pm. After 4pm I could eat at least two slices of bread or a fruit but not anything heavier or satisfying and then wait again for 4pm the next day! Mind you, this had nothing to with my weight or trying to lose weight because if it were about that, I could have easily opted out for healthier foods!

 I was up most evening of the first day! I cried out to God. In tears and in humility. For the first time in my spiritual life, I was actually feeling really sorry for my sins. Repentance. I laid there on the ground and said, "God my sins have brought me shame, but remove that shame, I am sorry!!" I saught God's face like never before! I said, "God; I will not rest until I rest in you!" I prayed and cried out to God almost all night until I eventually fell asleep!  

My second day of fasting, God was revealing the mystery of scripture to me!  I wanted to know why things did not go well for me in this life! Why I struggled so much in my studies and other things. God led me to Hosea 2. Verse 4 says,

 "I will not show my love to her children, because they are the children of adultery. Their mother has been unfaithful and has conceived them in disgrace!"

God revealed to me that the sins of my fore-fathers are contributing to my struggle! The bible continues to say in verse six, 

"Therefore I will block her path with thorn bushes; I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way."

So because of my fore-fathers sins, I could not find a way! God had placed a wall around me that disabled me from penetrating into victory!

Verse 7,

 “She will chase after her lovers but not catch them;

    She will look for them but not find them.

Then she will say,

    ‘I will go back to my husband as at first,

    For then I was better off than now." 

Verse 7 was so literal in a sense that for many years I tried to go into relationships where I was not wanted in! I ran after men for emotional support and love, but they didn’t want me! I looked for them, but they rejected me! And when I realised how unappreciated I was, I went back to my first love Jesus because I understood that only He can give me the love that I deserve!

Verse 17 God says,

 "I will remove the names of the Baal’s from her lips;

    No longer will their names be invoked."

Ever since I returned to God, He has taken away all the things I thought were more important to me than Him! All the things I made little gods! He made it impossible for me to go to gym because He knew that my life revolved around gym, and to me it was more important for my well-being than Him! He took away all the guys I had made little gods and thought their opinion in my life meant more than His Word! God is a jealous God!

After reading this wonderful scripture I bowed my head in humility, asking God to forgive me for all, my fore-fathers sins, my parents sins, my sins, and stupidity, for exalting other things before Him! I asked Him to break the wall that was around me and to remove those thorns that were on my way of progressing! Such things God only reveals when you seek Him with all your heart in fasting and prayer! 

God led me to psalm 51 which says, 

“You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;

 You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit

 A broken and contrite heart,

O God, you will not despise.

With a broken heart I called unto God! You know when you get so weak in his presence believing that His strength is all you need! When you acknowledge that without Him you cannot go anywhere! When my tummy was making noises, I said God, I refuse to eat! Let my physical hunger remind you of how hungry I am for you! Bread of life fill me! When my throat was dry and wanted that drop of water, I said God; I refuse to drink tap water! Let my thirst remind you of how thirsty I am for your living waters! Fill me! I don’t mind my physical body suffering in order to get more of Him!! Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God!

You have caused me to experience pain and misfortune, but God, you are reviving me again!!

 Psalm 51 from verse 3 says,

 For I know my transgressions,

    And my sin is always before me.

Against you, you only, have I sinned 

 And done what is evil in your sight;

So you are right in your verdict

 And justified when you judge.

I knew that my sins had brought punishment in my life and for so long I have been reaping the consequences. But I said to God that yes I am aware of what has been happening, I am aware of my sins, but right now I am seeking your forgiveness! Turn my life around! You are justified in judging and condemning me, but right now God, put a stop to the entire curse that have been operating in my life due to my sins. I am sorry!! God said in His word, Come now let us reason together, though your sins are red as scarlet they will be white as snow!  He also said as far as the east is from the west, so have I cast away your sins! I believed that God will turn my life around! I am seeking His face, so that he has mercy upon me and rebuke the devourer for my sake!

This fast was so intense for me! I laid everything in God’s hands! Do you know how much the people in those days used to fast to get what they want? They tore their clothes and put on sack clothes! They went to the mountains and wept! When you fast you become so humble like you have never been! God cannot reject somebody who deprives himself "nice" things to seek his forgiveness, grace, direction and will! The more you pray and fast, the more power of God will operate in your life and the more He will reveal mysteries to you! God cannot reject you!! Fasting and prayer is a weapon that releases a breakthrough in your life!  

Three days...

  “Pass through the camp and command the people, saying, ‘Prepare provisions for yourselves, for within three days you will cross over this Jordan, to go in to possess the land which the Lord your God is giving you to possess.”

  

On the third day God made me do something that I really wasn’t prepared for. He told me to put the names of the people I had slept with in the past on paper, and to ask for forgiveness for each one of them! As I went through the names I was so crushed, remembering how insignificant they made me feel! I cried aloud asking God to forgive me! I was torn apart recalling my old ways and my motives back then, how foolish I had been! But just like gold, we need to be refined and tested, until we shine brightly for our Lord!  As I asked for forgives, God brought inner healing to my soul! Spirits were exposed! Spirits of anti-Christ, witchcraft, poverty, AIDS,  and the likes! I was in awe of how I had blocked God's blessings from flowing in my life by a transfer of spirits from many individuals! God showed me a clear picture in the spiritual realm! See, the devil had already made it in his agenda that I would not get married, but always live in fornication, regrets and hurt for the rest of my life!

This is the picture that was similar to what was shown to me, but not his colourful of course! That is my spirit in the centre, and around me, are the different kinds of spirits that were transferred to me through sexual intercourse! They made it impossible for my husband to find me (the other black circle) the arrows illustrate his eyes that were looking for me but they can’t find me because I am tainted by all these other spirits that had trapped me in sin. But praise God, after the third day, He took me out! 

When I finished asking for forgiveness for all those time I had fornicated, God had made it so clear to me that I am now free! Like a new born baby, he made me pure and clean! He has set me free! Jesus' blood has never made so much sense like it does now! With His blood He broke all curses, all soul ties and removed any spirits transferred to me! With His blood he purified me and forgave me! I saw a strong rope being broken up into two, signifying that I am no longer ONE with those people! I have been freed! I am free! This is deep I know but it is only in in this way (fasting and prayer) that God can reveal such things to you!  Repentance is feeling really sorry in your heart for all the times you were lost, and being expectant that God will revive you and put your life back together again!

“You caused me to experience many troubles and misfortunes,

but You will revive me again. You will bring me up again, even from the depths of the earth.

For troubles without numbers have surrounded me; my sins have overtaken me;

I am unable to see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my courage leaves me.

However, I will rejoice and be glad in Your faithful love because You have seen my affliction.

You know the troubles of my life.

You now make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Isaiah 40 verse 1 -2 says,

"Comfort, comfort my people,

    says your God.

Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,

    and proclaim to her

that her hard service has been completed,

    that her sin has been paid for,

that she has received from the Lord’s hand

    double for all her sins."

Praise be to God!

Lord Jesus I thank you so much for forgiving my sins and for your deliverance! Thank you that you have set me free from bondage! Thank you for revealing your truth to me! Thank you for hearing my cry and turning things around in my favour! I’m excited Lord about what you are doing for me! Amen!