In our newly appointed days my colleagues and I hung out one afternoon. Call me boring but I feel the need to talk only when it’s necessary. We get ourselves into unnecessary trouble sometimes by talking non-stop. So, my colleagues were chatting about their personal lives and their relationships. I just listened, gave a glance and a nod there and there until one of them asked, “What about you Tiisetso? Are you in a relationship?” I replied by saying, “No, I’m not seeing anyone at the moment.” I further explained that I believe that relationships should be taken seriously and beside the point, I am totally enjoying my singlehood and still want to make the most of it. From that day onwards I was told that one of my colleagues is offended by virtually everything I say or do, she analyses everything I say or do and finds a way to turn it into a bad thing so that everyone sees it in that way. What made me laugh and still does though, is the fact that someone formulated a story that I’m a virgin and think I’m better because of that. Like I said in my previous blog (Validation comes from God alone) I wouldn’t really know who the culprit behind all this is.
In 2016, I found myself being extremely transparent about my past in ways I had never been before. Although my motive was that people saw that Jesus really saves lives, on my own however, I usually felt that perhaps I was acting like a victim seeking sympathy. My other motive was that people understand me; that I am what I am today and behave the way I do because of the life I once lived- not knowing that this was the exact thought that kept me from embracing my God-given identity.
When I heard that my colleagues had concluded that I’m a virgin I felt the need to explain myself to them. I always refrain from trying to portray a “big” picture of myself to people and because of that I always feel the need to outline my past in order for them to not have any misconceptions about the real me. That is tantamount to false humility. If I continue bringing up my past but quote the verse from 2Corinthians 5:17, yet not believing fully what it says then I’m a hypocrite. The verse says that if any man is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away and the new has come. Lamenting over my past mistakes and misfortunes is an indication of unbelief in God’s Word, that I don’t truly believe that He has given me a new identity.
When my colleague told me about the other colleague who got offended that “I’m a virgin and a snob” I attempted to interfere a couple of times to explain that I am not a virgin but she would not give me a chance to speak. I was able to pause and use that moment as an opportunity to embrace my God-given identity. I saw myself as a new person, unstained by immorality, sexually pure. The moment I embraced my new identity, everyone else saw me in that way.
Those in my neighbourhood, and my colleagues; though they don’t like me respect me. After almost five years of being saved I am finally able to stand up to any man in whom wrong, impure intentions lurks. I am no longer ashamed or fearful that people who know my past will capitalize on my mistakes and use me in an unfair advantage. I am no longer worried that my past still has a hold on me and from any moment now I could fall into fornication because I’ve finally embraced my new identity. Coming to think of it, I spent my entire salvation trying to be “humble” by pulling myself down and keeping myself in fear because of hanging on to the old me, well gone are those days! If any man is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old is gone and the new has come. I’ve come to believe His Word. I do agree with my colleagues that indeed I am a virgin, pure and spotless in the precious eyes of my Saviour.
Now that you've read my story, I would like to hear yours. Have you any struggles fully believing that God has supernaturally removed your old life of sin and graciously granted you the gift of a new identity? Please share!!