In the weekend I felt unusually down! Emotionally, spiritually, physically-all dimensions of life! I felt this way because I was so reluctant when God told me to write about masturbation throughout the week! The worry I had was what people would say or think! She is sexually frustrated! She has gone mad because of lack of sex! It will surprise you what people against God’s work can say about you! The more I ignored addressing the issue of masturbation, the more I got tempted! Certain moments I even questioned my sanity! Am I really going mad because I haven’t experienced an orgasm in a long while? Why do I have so much unshakable faith in God though? Is this madness! The battle went on and everything was placed on hold! I couldn’t study, I couldn’t pray, I couldn’t exercise! I couldn’t continue with my normal routine of life! I mean my water baptism was on Saturday but I wasn’t even excited about it! My friend Gina was more excited for me and I was like…oh well baptism! I tried so hard to go back to “normalcy” but it was impossible! In fact all I could do was sit in my dark room, find comfort in my coffee and endure the throbbing temptation to masturbate!
This reminded me about the story of Jonah and the whale! God commanded Jonah to go to Nineveh to preach the message of repentance! But Jonah found it unbearable so he got on a boat, and tried running away from the task God had given him to do! In response, God sent a violent storm which broke down the ship! Jonah got tossed down by the heavy waves and instead of drowning he got swallowed by a great fish! I feel that during the weekend I was figuratively in the same situation! God commands me to write about masturbation and all I’m worried about is my reputation! If all we think about is ourselves and the world, then really we should not be servants of Christ! We should not pray for God’s will to be done in our lives because He will shake us out of our comfort zone! If we disobey or go about ignoring our God-given tasks, we will end up losing our zeal and excitement for life, our anointing and power, and our life will be placed on hold! Life after all is about fulfilling God’s will and many people who don’t live up to that find themselves trapped in a bitter, dark stomach of a shark! There I was running to coffee for comfort! When we run away from God we find ourselves being unhealthily addicted to things! For me it was coffee, for another person it might be sex for another alcohol! But as children of God we were not meant to be bound by any type of addiction and running away from God unfortunately delivers us into the shark’s stomach! People experience divorce and broken families, a young girl constantly getting hurt and used by men, betrayal from loved ones-all this occur inside the shark’s stomach! And until you, like Jonah, lay your pride aside and repent, you will have to live the rest of your life in bondage!
Running away from God’s command made it impossible for me to live a victorious expectant and productive life! It is so amazing that during that time messages were coming in hectically than before! People requesting prayers, people telling me their heart breaking stories! I asked my friend Gina, “But how do I comfort or encourage somebody when I’m also in need of comfort and encouragement myself!” This taught me that disobeying God will have a negative effect in God’s progression! Life doesn’t stop just because I refused to obey! I have to move in His schedule! If He commands me to write about masturbation why place my ego before His will? It is about Him! Never has or never will be about me! I always quote Galatians 2:20 which says, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” If this is what I profess daily then obeying God should not be a problem! He takes you out of your comfort zone to do things you never imagined to do! Things that might seem foolish to the naked eye but has a deeper meaning and are more effective in the spiritual realm! As uncomfortable as it might seem for you, somebody always has to hear the message God put in your heart! As uncomfortable as it might seem, somebody always has to look at how you live your life! You are called and appointed for God’s glory!
When I finally got over myself, I cried out to God and asked for forgiveness! See, like Jonah went back to the Ninevites and preached the repentance message? I also got the courage to address the issue of masturbation! After Jonah repented he went down to Nineveh and preached the message God placed in his heart and amazingly, people’s lives were transformed! You should see the number of messages I received after posting about masturbation, and just like Jonah I can sing praises and say, “salvation comes from the Lord!” God never changes His mind about you or the plans He has for you! The story that God asks you to share with the world will be a powerful weapon to enlarge God’s kingdom! Your testimony can change lives! Stop being so stubborn! Get out of that shark and start sharing your message with a hungry world out there!