I used to think I was this superstar..that I could do everything by my own strength. My heart was so hard I just didn't have time to acknowledge Jesus, He was too much work for me (atleast that's what the devil made me believe), until it got really bad and felt like I'm in a rut. I felt very entitled to great things I never worked for just because I've been overseas a couple of times. I thought that not changing my mindset,practising my craft or leaving behind my former lifestyle was cool and that God had to understand and just give me what I wanted like my parents would. God totally humbled me, I started losing things, had so much anxiety, competing with people, judging people, things I worked so hard for were gone, everything was just basically a mess in my eyes until I realised that none of what I want should be for my glory, I am just an instrument. I used to think about how I'd make people feel once I was successful, how everybody who betrayed me would see my success and be jealous and I'd laugh and be happy... until it dawned on me that my life is not my own, my success can't be attained as a way to make others feel bad. See when the Holy Spirit takes ahold of you every unnecessary thing flies out the window, He'll start convicting you of your sin, and the wisdom that you so need from God will be revealed and man, it won't feel great but it will be necessary for your growth! People, Jesus is alive! ,He takes the simple and makes them wise ,outcasts and makes them diamonds ,let me just stop here...to be continued!!
"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost."
"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost."
1 Timothy 1:15, "This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief."
Acts 3:26, "Unto you first God, having raised up his Son Jesus, sent him to bless you, in turning away every one of you from his iniquities."
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Once upon a time I believed I was worthless and undeserving. I felt ugly and fat and really all things wrong. This was the time when I was growing up. When you are a child all you know, understand and believe is what you are told and what you see, that's how kids learn. I learnt that I was lazy, fat, "black", ugly, a nuances..... All from the older people I was around at the time and all these were in comparison with someone close to me. What do you think that did to me? It further destroyed me. At such a young age, I felt such a profound hate and disgust for everything and everyone around me. I wouldn't care less whether they lived or not at the time I needed nothing to do with them for I felt they added no value in my life...after all, I felt that they didn't love me either. I made friends with boys. A lot of them. We used to do all sorts of despicable boy stuff. Around them I felt enough and not judged. They never cared how I looked, how lazy or fat I was...we dissed each other but never mocked or belittled each other. We were very protective over each other enough to get some of us in jail... This is where I learnt to accept and love myself regardless of my shortcomings so without knowing, my attitude towards been a girl changed and so did my outfit and my mind-set. I learnt how great I can be, how unstoppable I can be when my focus is invested in me and what I think of me instead of what others think of me. Many of you did not know, but this is why I LOVE my boys even today. They guided me back to self just by accepting me. Acceptance can go a long way... This story is too long...
Then I grew up. I still love my boys, a lot. Don't get me wrong, I know I am a woman and I love that, I am proud of that...however this is where I was going with this, your past has no hold on your future but your present does, so invest in your today. You may have felt like a lazy, ugly, worthless kid around the block but you were a kid, all you knew was all you were told...you are not a kid anymore, you have control on what comes into your life and what goes out, what to believe and what to crush, what to take and to leave. Paramount to all you have control on what defines you, who you are and whom you wonna be. Their words (them people who used to tell you otherwise) have no weight on you, your future, your capabilities, your blessings and all your God given possibilities AT ALL! You are the captain of your own ship but don't you forget whom YOUR captain is for you are a sailing ship too yourself so in everything, rem; the unfailingly God who promised that you shall walk through fire and will not burn nor will the flames set you ablaze, that when you walk through the waters He will be with ya, that the rivers will not sweep you, (Isaiah 43:2)... IS YOUR CAPTAIN. He knows the seas and needs no campus. Even in the tough times, He was there still, you just had to go through all that for reasons that He knows and trust me, He is always right and always on time.
Now. From all those feelings I had before of hate and disgust, I have learnt now that life is too precious and short to lose sleep on certain matters, I have learnt how beautiful and important family and love are and how much hate can destroy even the purest of souls, I have learnt that communication solves a lot and heals, that self -love is each one’s best weapon and friend, that comparing one’s self to others can damage even the most strong (read my article on measures) and that some friends can change your life you just need to pray to God to give you the wisdom to know whom are worthy of your heart.... I have learnt that my sis is my best friend...I love her too much.
OK...too long. Advice: go back to every battle of your life that you won and look back at how you won it. Those will serve as your gas stations for every litre of gas you need to conquer whatever battle you fighting right now or will be fighting in your future.... Learn from your past, don't fear your past, it can't touch you no more, you are too strong now and highly favoured. Trust in God's promises, always...hahaaa😘.
PS: I know this now; I am very beautiful, amazing, intelligent, loved, WORTHY, deserving, blessed,........woman of God and I won't settle for less, so don't you ever either! Transform your surrounding be that which they all look out for... Leave a mark on what you touch not scars and let your scars be a lesson and encouragement to others. XoXo... Much love from me... #knowyourworth #knowyourcaptain #knowwhoyouare #conquor #lovelife #livelife
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