Impressive Moment (1)

November/December 2015 I met a guy who swept me off my feet…with his words. My initial reaction when I first saw him was not that of attraction, but as I listened to his words I couldn’t help but feel myself being drawn to him. He talked about God’s kingdom, he had a thorough knowledge of the bible, and he caused some paradigm shifts in some of my shallow thinking. I was totally impressed by that.

During the holidays when I’m home I find solace in staying indoors reading books and being alone. One day though, my sister had a catering function and she requested my help with organizing the event. This guy had offered his place for my sister to come and prepare her food, and that is when I met him. It was a jolly festive atmosphere very often being in the company of people drinking alcohol, smoking weed, chatting- most often conversations about how ridiculous bible stories are. For me this was intriguing because for a long time I had spent most of my time reading books or in the church or in the company of my friends who possess the same values as mine. Being in the company of my sister’s friends most of the time was different and kind of enjoyable as I began drinking wine casually and partaking in conversations that mocked the deity of Christ. I honestly don’t mind people practicing their freedom, but for me personally many things that "liberate" people are the same things that enslave me.

In the early morning when everyone had went to their separate rooms I found myself on the couch laying on the guy’s lap. We had been lost in conversation for so long and I was very tipsy from the wine I had been drinking that day. Most moments I caught myself gazing in his eyes with a yearning heart that said “touch me.” When he appeared not to get the “picture” I personally took his hand and led it to my pelvic area. He quickly removed his hand and said, “I know exactly what you need, but I’m not going to touch you. Shortcuts don’t work in life.” Wow. That imprinted a very impressive picture that I began to have of him. In my past life; wine plus a male plus a female automatically equaled sex; and here was a man who I’ve been vulnerable to; whom I had exposed my weaknesses to, whom I was drunk around, whom I wanted to be touched by… and he tells me that he’s not going to touch me! 

Go to the previous blog for the next part...