I thank You Lord for the blessings you have bestowed upon my life. The good and the bad times. Seasons of sorrows and seasons of joy. The Lord is good all the time.
There were times in my life when things didn’t go well, take the laptop incident for an example. Those were the times I doubted God’s existence, questioning myself, where is He when I need Him the most? I repent. Today I know that my God lives. The way He orchestrates our life’s events is proof that He lives.
“Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.”~ Revelation3:19
My laptop was like a baby to me and God knew that, yet He still allowed the Devil to steal it from me. Many times we do not understand how God works but rest assured that everything that happens in your life is orchestrated by Him for your spiritual growth. When Job had gone through misery, he received double from the Lord for all that he had lost. The bible tells us that Job’s end was better than his beginning. (So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning. Job42:12). Beside the fact that trusting everyone is actually very stupid, I have learned several lessons which I will share with you.
God’s Spirit communicates with our spirit
When I re-dedicated my life to Jesus I was so excited that I have this Holy Spirit who will lead and guide me into all truth. That is true; however, I misused the purpose of the Holy Spirit in my life. We tend to do that a lot as Christians. We are led and clouded by our emotions, willpower, and mind, and believe that it is the Holy Spirit leading us. We go around with our most “holy faces” telling people, “The Lord said this and that.” The Lord told me about the other person’s sin, yet it is your own mind that is judging them. The Lord showed me a vision, yet it is your own imagination that gave you a “vision”. I have reached a point where I realize that Christianity is not a game. God is not clown, He is not carnal, He is not a human being but a supernatural Spiritual Being, and the only way He communicates with his children is through their spirit. I’m a very emotional being and most of the time in prayer I travail in tears. Sometimes I don’t cry thus making me feel “less spiritual”. I try to draw the presence of God with my emotions but still that doesn’t move Him. If we are going to be led by God we have to let go off our emotions, our will power, and our strong minds and allow the Holy Spirit to communicate with our spirit alone. I can imagine God looking at me when I was busy accusing my housemate for stealing my laptop and camera because I believed it was the Holy Spirit leading me to do. I went as far as calling the police and allowing them to humiliate my housemate because I was certain that the Lord had spoken to me. Had I jut listened. We tend to make up our minds about certain things in our lives without giving the Holy Spirit any chance to fulfill his purpose and that is to lead and guide us into all truths. We have already concluded a certain matter and then go pray about it, and eventually claim that it is the Lord who spoke to us. Watchman Nee emphasizes so much on his messages that our spirits need to be separated from our souls so that we can know what the will of God is for our lives. I blamed the Lord for the mess I got myself into, but it was my own stupidity, and the Lord used it for my discipline. Today I know that I am not so spiritual that the Lord has to tell me about other people’s sins. I have learned to stop going around and telling people that the Lord has told me this and that. I am learning to distinguish between spirit and soul.
“Endure hardships as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?”~ Hebrews 12:7
Material stuff don’t matter at all to God
Loosing my laptop felt like I had lost the world, it unleashed the beast in me. I, together with my housemates saw another side of me that I didn’t know existed. All the while, God was silent. I questioned myself a lot; did I ever lie about something on my blog? Did I ever give false testimony? Then why did my laptop have to go. I mean, it’s still new for heavens sake and I am a writer! All the while, God was quiet. I blamed Him, I was upset with Him, and nothing made sense! (If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Hebrews12:8). The Lord will do whatever it takes to draw you away from deception. Going to church and listening to sermons is not enough, you need to learn through experience. If it means that He will allow the laptop that I cherished so much to be taken away from me, then he would do so in order for me to learn more about who He is. He orchestrated this laptop event and He knew I was going to be scarred and heart broken, yet He went along with His plan. I was so upset with Him but here I am laughing at myself. What are mere possessions to God? What is money to God? Why do we get so obsessed with worldly stuff when the Creator of the universe is our Father? The Lord is good to everyone. Non-believers also graduate, they marry, they get jobs, they go overseas, and they have money. The sun shines on both good ad evil people and we waste time praying for such things when anybody can have them. Worldly blessings are futile. It is a waste of time crying for a new laptop when I should be crying for God’s light in my life. The kind of light that makes me know what the will of God is. The kind of light that will enable me to distinguish between being led by my emotions or by the Spirit of God. Don’t waste time praying for material stuff. The Bible tells us to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all those other things shall be added unto you.
Nothing is impossible with God
When things don’t go well for us we think that God is weak, He doesn’t see, or He’s not there. I mean, when things are going well for you, you declare his goodness, and when things are not going well according to your plan, you curse Him. I want to challenge you today to praise God in all situations. (Not that I speak in respect of want for I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Phillipians4:11). If you are going to be used by God you have to learn many things and most of them will be through experience. If I hadn’t gone through the laptop incident I would still be naïve right now believing that everything that I’m feeling comes from the Holy Spirit, and therefore lead people astray. But through discipline, I learned, and I learned the hard way. (No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews12:11). God does certain things to show His greatness.
I was on Google the other day searching the price for luggage bags at Woolworths. I didn’t get what I wanted instead what popped on my screen was an advertisement on gumtree of a laptop. The price was 1 700 rand. Without thinking twice I sent the advertiser an email and after a couple of days he contacted me back. I was willing to sacrifice my grocery money and everything else in order for me to buy the second hand laptop. The people around me raised concerns though, what if it’s stolen, and what if it’s not working properly. As I learned to be still and listen to my spirit I knew that despite all the noise and fears, it was God’s will for me to buy the laptop. Together with the laptop owner we made arrangements to meet at Mimosa mall to verify my satisfaction with the laptop. We met, and he was with his wife and son. In a public place (These people at malls who work with cell phones and clean computer screens) we tested the laptop and I was impressed. The owner is quite a wealthy man and he told me that the original price of the laptop was 12 000 rand. What is money to God? The laptop is brand new, no scratch, no dirty keypad, new laptop bag, free mouse, it is definitely better than the previous one I had before. When I read the story of Job weeks back I knew that God also had a better end for me than the beginning! He will teach you something and it will be painful but he will compensate for all your loss. That is God!
|My new "second hand" laptop.|
Not to me, O Lord, not to me, but to You be all the glory! It is you who picked me up from the dust and me sit on the throne of glory. It is you who found me thrown out in the open field and picked me up, made me beautiful, and clothed me with garments of glory. Everything I have and all that I am today, I have received from You, so I can boast in nothing but in your goodness my God. You alone are worthy to receive all the praise!
I am so glad I went through the laptop incident. It was hard but I praise God for the discipline, it shows that He loves me. I know that the housemate I was suspecting didn’t steal my laptop or my camera. You know what’s shocking? The other day I thought of a coat in my wardrobe and I knew deep in my spirit that my camera was in there. When the Holy Spirit leads you there is no wishy washy, or confusion, wondering if it’s right or not, you know it. I searched that coat and my camera- was right there. Oh, the Lord has reduced me to naught. Only He alone is omniscient. We know nothing but God knows everything. I thought I knew it all but He showed me who’s boss. I went around accusing people and mistreating them because I thought I was holy enough to treat people bad because it was the Holy Spirit who “led me”, but here I am humbling myself before them and asking for forgiveness. I thank God for my housemates. I thank God for everything that happened this year. I thank God for taking the time to discipline me!