Friday, 21 June 2013

I fell into sexual sin (Day 4)

There was a time I thought I would not make it, but God took me out. A broken spirit, a broken spirit and a contrite heart, He will not despise. 


“What you are going through is just preparing you for where you are going. God has great plans for you; don’t let the Devil have his way. Let God have his way in your life.”

Being in church yesterday helped me forget all about my problems, but I can’t be in the church all week. A major part of my life is outside my church and if I’m going to depend on the church for my happiness then I’m going to have a problem. I have to get up. I have to stand up like a soldier who everybody thought was defeated but proved them wrong and rose again even more victoriously.  I am fighting the good fight of faith, I am finishing my course, and I am keeping the faith! 

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken spirit and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. ~Psalm 51:17

My friend and I pledged that for this whole week we are going to rise at midnight and seek God’s face. I don’t know if there’s any good in me left. I can’t help but ask myself like Nathanael did when he heard about Jesus, can anything good come out of South Africa? Can anything good come out of a fornicator? I don’t know where this journey is leading me to, but I will not let go off God’s hand. I really thought that I would never fall that far, but I fell. I am determined not to fall but I might fall again-I don’t know, Lord knows I don’t want to. I know that I don’t have any strength or power besides God’s Holy Spirit to keep me away from falling, I feel like a fool. I have to approach God’s throne with humility and nakedness and say God, without you I am nothing, I can do nothing. If I fall again, I will get up, and if I fall yet again, I will get up; I will keep getting up, and up, and up…until I obtain that crown of righteousness. 

My friend cried with me in the midnight hour. We wailed and wept like two lost souls. It’s so comforting to know that there’s always somebody out there who’s willing to help you carry your burden, who feels the pain that you are going through. Who sacrifices her sleep and time to stand in the gap for you. True friends really do exist. Friends who are always there to carry you when you are weak. They look right into your eyes and they feel the pain that you are feeling. With less words but their gentle presence they encourage you to get up again. I pray for all Christians now, I pray that God keeps us strong and united to each other. (The enemy is waging war on the body of Christ. He wants us to give into sin and reject our Maker; the same thing he did in the Garden of Eden. God over Porn). Believers don’t be happy when another believer falls. We are each other strength’s. When you are in despair and you feel like you can’t go on, only a true believer will be there to lead you to our Father’s light. We shouldn’t fight each other; we shouldn’t anticipate the downfall of one another, because at the end of the day we only have each other.

That's Phelo, fell asleep while praying lol

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