Alright, I haven’t blogged in a while and I don’t even know where to start! So much goes on in our lives, many times being situations beyond our control. For the past three weeks or so, I had kind of lost myself? Yea, you wouldn’t expect that from a blogger right? From somebody who is so transparent about her journey with Christ, for somebody who seems strong in the human being’s eyes? After a year with God I just felt that I was drifting away from him. Where had the passion gone to? Had I forgotten about destiny? Had I forgotten that I had a dream to pursue? Well, that happens when we stray away from God, we lose ourselves because we lose God. I went to Schweizer-Reneke for my teaching practical. It was good to be around those children and try by all means to instill greatness in their lives. However, I found that when I was there I could hardly maintain my relationship with Jesus. I was always tired, I was always eating junk, I wasn’t making time to spend with God and as a result I felt apart from this Man who was once residing big in me!
As we draw near to God, He will draw near to us! Only the pure in heart will see His face.
Have faith that God will carry you through temptation.
I could not understand what was wrong with me; it seemed as if I no longer cared about my relationship with Jesus. If He wants to manifest Himself to me like he used to in the past, fine, and if he doesn’t want to, still fine. I missed my fasting period for April because I just didn’t care anymore. I was not committing the “obvious” sins but I was drifting away from God because of conforming to the standards of this world. I would justify my stagnancy with the fact that at least I’m not sleeping with anybody or doing any kind of rebellious acts, in fact I’m a good person who takes care of kids. One of the things that I have learned is that the devil will make you focus on everything else but Christ. It’s okay if you are not “sinning” just as long as your heart is not on fire for God as it used to be, you know. This game will go on for so long without you even realizing that it’s not always about what you do that draws you away from Christ, it’s also what you don’t do. When you lose focus on God temptation will flood in like a storm and overwhelm you. All of a sudden I was getting men wanting and appreciating me. There was also a guy from my church back home who have been pursuing me for such a long time that I eventually agreed to date him just to try it out. All we ever did was hug and get so close to each other and blush but we could never have a proper conversation. In one of our watsapp chats he asked me if we could actually have sex!! I mean here is a guy who goes to church, who plays the piano in the church, who lives with a Pastor and he’s asking me that we should have sex? He being such a church guy, down to earth, I at some point was honestly considering it, I mean he “loves” me and he’ll go all out for me, and with our long hugs I could just feel the flesh probing, screaming to be satisfied. I’ve read a lot on fornication and I know it’s a big deal to God (Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. 1Corinthians 6:13), but it didn’t seem as if it was much of a big deal to this guy. It perplexed me to see how someone who is always leading people in worship did not have any serious attitude towards sin! I asked him then to tell me about his relationship with God and he told me that he can go days without reading his bible, and yup, that’s where the catch is: lose your focus on God’s Word, lose your life. For me this was not easy because every time I sneaked outside to hold him, I went back into the house thinking about the possibilities of how much enjoyment I would be experiencing with this one guy. Just one guy, yea the thoughts that came across my mind, just one guy who will probably marry you, what would it hurt? (Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. 1John 3:9). Even though overwhelmed with temptation the Holy Spirit always somehow reminded me of God’s Word because irrespective of how I felt I did not really stop seeking council from God. The truth is, you are going to face temptation and this was the hardest I’ve ever had to go through since I re-dedicated my life to Jesus, but you don’t have to push God aside, He wants to hold your hand and carry you through it. He’s not this bad God who wants to test you if you are strong enough but He knows your weakness, which is why when you are weak, He becomes strong for you.
My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness! ~2Corinthians 12:9
Have faith that God will provide for you.
It is now over a year since I have started blogging and I have been doing it without a laptop. On rainy days it was not easy, or days when I was home and I didn’t have enough cash to go to the internet café. I did however have faith that one day God will provide me with a laptop and writing will not be so much of a hassle. Well I had to be faithful for a year before my laptop could be delivered to me. This is how I got my laptop: I was at a shopping center with my mum, dad and sister and my sister was getting a new phone, an I-phone to be exact, which is 9 000 rand(I still cringe at this thought though). Well, I never really ask my parents for anything, I’ve never even asked them for a laptop so I’m kind of used to being that side girl who just has to be happy for her sister when she gets nice stuff from our parents. On that day I wanted a laptop so badly that I had to exhaust all the faith that I had in me. When everybody was in the store and I was just sitting alone outside I said: “today, I am leaving with my laptop. I have prayed God has answered, but today is the day I am leaving this shopping mall with my laptop in my hand!” I did not ask my parents cause I knew they were already defeated by a 9 000 phone but I asked God to stir in their hearts to buy me one. Before I actually commence I want you to understand that I went through many episodes last year of trying to hustle for a laptop until I eventually trusted God to be my provider because it seems as if when people give you something, they will always expect something else from you. I mean I was trying my luck asking all my rich exes to bless me with a laptop but they would want me to do something in return. I also actually at some point considered asking for donation from my blog readers because I’m blessing them with the Word, they have to make a plan. But I got to a certain place, (There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. Hebrews 4:9). I got to a place where I was not going to trust human beings to help me carry the will of God by providing me financially, but trust in God himself to provide for me. So after my sister got her phone and we were just about to leave and I thought that God was just a fictional character who promises but never delivers, my dad said, “Tiisetso needs a laptop.” And my mum said, “Let’s go and buy it!” You should have seen me jumping up and down in my wedges right there and my parents probably think I’m a bush girl but I was jumping for joy because God remained faithful to His promise! (If ye shall ask anything in my name, I will do it. John 14:14). Indeed I have learned the secret of John 14:14, Philippians 4:19, and Mark 11:23.
Some tips I learned from a writer named Zac Poonen
· If you are in ministry, never make your financial needs known to anyone but God.
· Never accept money from unbelievers
· Never allow anyone to control you or influence you by giving you money
· Never accept money from those who don’t accept your ministry
· Never be dependent on any man for your financial needs
Have faith that God will protect you and your possessions!
Fear not; for I have redeemed thee. I have called thee by name; thou art mine.~ Isaiah 43:1
One sunny Saturday I was carrying my laptop for the first time with me to campus. Not expecting anything to happen I had my phone all the while on my hand, tweeting, tweeting, tweeting! Just by the nearby corner a man approached me, held me around my neck telling me to give him my phone. I held on so tightly to it and begin screaming at the top of my lungs. While I was screaming he tried so hard to pull my laptop bag which I was carrying on my shoulder but he couldn’t because there was an unfathomable strength in m. It was 9am, broad day light, did he really expect to take my new laptop which I had prayed so hard for!? Funny enough there were other two guys standing nearby but they didn’t bother to help so I assume they were part of the scheme. We wrestled so hard for so long for MY possessions until I eventually saw another guy approaching us. You’d swear it was on slow motion and I thought that he was the fourth guy and was helplessly surrendering to them. I did not have much strength but I called out to God and he sent along this fourth guy to rescue me. (I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honor him. Psalm 91:15). God protected me from the snare of the fowler, from the evil man. Not only did he protect me but he protected my possessions as well. I remember after getting my laptop I said to God, “Thank you for this laptop, I surrender it to you.” And now when the mugger had an opportunity to get a free new laptop he couldn’t because my possessions are in God’s hands. You know lately many people have become victims of robbery and rape and murder, but when you have God on your side you can never be a statistic. (A thousand shall fall at thy side, ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee. Psalm 91:7)
When thou passesst through the waters I will be with thee, and the rivers shall not overwhelm thee. When thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. ~Isaiah 43:2
Have faith that God will carry you through the tough times
When I returned from my teaching practical I was extremely behind with my school work. It was test after test, assignment after assignment, this after that. I felt like I was going to lose my mind. I had so much work I did not even know where to start so I often left it all together and just sleep off my problems. For a moment I did not care about passing anymore. I don’t have energy for all this. There was this certain assignment for one of my courses that was literally like a thorn to my flesh and I knew nothing about it. Even when I went through it I understood nothing. I couldn’t help but burst out one morning in tears telling God about this assignment amongst many others. I did not know how I was going to get this assignment done considering how everyone was too busy handling their own stuff but that morning I read Isaiah 43:19. And God says that He will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert, meaning He will make a way even for me to get my assignment done even though I did not know how. After a long day after lectures I just decided to take my chances with my housemate who was in the kitchen, asking her if she could perhaps help me with my assignment which was due the following day. She went through it and helped me with the little stuff she knew. In just a matter of minutes I had almost all my housemates around my book wanting to help. I just stood there by the side thinking: look at all these people attempting to do my work for me when they probably have their own work to do. When they realized that they could not answer some questions, one of them called her mother and spent so much time on the phone reading each question on the phone for her to help me. She used her own airtime and what’s funny is that at the end she thanked me for helping me! (Come unto me all ye that labor, and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Mathew 11:28). No matter what you are going through, even when you are overwhelmed with so much school work, or your job, if you call unto God He will send people down your path to help you. I don’t know if I should be proud about this, but my housemates did the entire assignment for me which I didn’t understand at all, and all I had to do was just to copy it down and focus on my other work, pheeuw, one problem down!!!
Have faith that God cares about the small stuff
I was rushing to campus one morning and realized that I was craving so much coffee that day. I normally don’t see the point of buying coffee at the student center when I can make myself one at home, but the craving was that bad! I sat by the student center having my huge muffin and my white creamy coffee which smelled and tasted oh so good! After a while this other guy I go to class with chats up with me and before we know it we were getting along like old friends. I’m telling you I hardly talk to this guy. After a while he asked me, “Hey would you perhaps like another cup of coffee?” For somebody who had been craving coffee this much I obviously agreed to another cup. Yes coffee is not a big deal but the fact that God knows your desires and thoughts and cravings and He will send down people along your path to bless you, even strangers. Such things touch me because I hardly have people buying me simple stuff like that unless it’s me who buys for them so it showed me that God will go all out to spoil you and keep a smile on His child’s face. Some things are really small yes, but God is also concerned about the tiniest details of your life.
Have faith that God is with you during the lonely times.
I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. ~Hebrews 13:5
“I never thought that when they said we will face trials and temptations it will be this much”, I thought to myself. I have been so weighed down in the past couple of weeks, wondering if there is anyone out there who actually cares. What I have seen is that no matter how broken you think you are, God can still fix you and work through you. When you understand the power of His love, you’ll never have to go a single day feeling lonely and unloved, that’s if you take every opportunity to talk to him about your problems and feelings. (There will be days when you feel weak and want to give up, but God tells us not to be dismayed or discouraged because He is with us. It is normal to feel that way but not normal to shut God completely out of your life. Lesego Serolong Holzapfel). Once you have an encounter with Jesus there can never be any turning back. Despite what you go through or how you are feeling hold on to the cross and put all the faith you have in Jesus. You have begun the race, finish it! Let hope be an anchor in your soul, both sure and steadfast that God will fulfill His promise in your life.
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace that we may obtain mercy, and find GRACE to help in time of need. ~Hebrews 4:16