Many people come to me and tell me that I
am following a religion so blindly. I don’t entertain them much because I know
that they are the ones who are against me being born again. The men see that
they have lost something that they can take advantage of and those friends I
used to hang out with can see that with Jesus I am climbing higher and have the
full potential to reach my dreams. Many smart intellectuals always try to
convince me to not be narrow minded and look at life in another perspective.
What they don’t know is that I have done that before, I have been through it
all. I have searched for Satanism; I have searched for Rastafarian, if that’s a
name of a religion. I have considered atheism; in my 23 years of life I have
practically tried it all. I have tried different toxic substances, I have tried
different men, I have tried different friends, I have tried different courses, and
practically I used all the freedom I had to live my life to the fullest. What
I’m getting into here is the fact that all my life I had a choice, just like
everybody else. I had a choice either to continue living in the world or to try
something different which in this case is following Jesus. My parents never
really played a big part in my decision making, well yea, except choosing a
religion for me.
I hate religion. I hate religion because it
almost destroyed my life. My grandfather was a priest in the Anglican Church
and thus making my grandmother a priest’s wife, “Mma Muriti” as we call it in
Tswana. I don’t know much about my grandfather’s life and his real state in the
Lord because he passed away before I was mature or wise enough to discern
certain things. I visit my grandmother who still lives with some of my uncles
and one of them is also a priest, not sure actually, but he wears those black
garments with grey neck collar when he goes to church. It’s so amazing how
religion can disguise certain things. Not to be judgmental or anything but in
the church my uncle puts on his most holy face, walks in a certain holy way, hands
close together and fingers locked together. In the church my uncle is
respectful and speaks in a certain way but as soon as he takes of his garment
in the household where true Christianity is, he becomes a totally different
person. Yes he swears, he disrespects, he steals, and it’s so ironic hey. But I
honestly don’t blame him because I was once also blinded by religion. It takes
a special encounter with Jesus to break this curse of hypocrisy and really live
for God.
Oh I said that religion was forced on me,
yup! I was literally forced to go to church as a child, I guess that’s what
every parent wants for her child, to have morals and laws to govern you. You
know the laws: Do not touch boys otherwise you’ll fall pregnant. Go to church
otherwise you’ll go to hell. All those laws that cripple you with fear that you
end up living your life trying so hard
to be a good person. Ironically these people who chuff religion down your
throat are the same ones who don’t lead by example. They swear and disrespect their
spouses in your presence. They send underage children to liquor stores to buy
them alcohol. They curse their own children with their own lips, and on Sunday
they angrily command them to go to church. And at the church what do we find? A
priest in his holy garment reciting the same prayers which he doesn’t mean. In
the corners sleeping around with the members of the church or the treasurer
stealing the money raised for the church. You might say that I’m only pointing
out the worst, but that’s what religion does to people, you only see the worst.
In Schweizer-Reneke I had a young lady telling me how much she detests women
who wear church uniform because they have such a cruel heart. See, religion
does not resemble Jesus; it only fills the victim with selfishness, anger,
pride, bitterness. Religion is full of condemnation, therefore, breaking
relationships within the family and the world outside.
I might sound like I am contradicting
myself as a Christian, but no I’m all up for Jesus. Where else can I go to when
nothing seemed to work? I have been going through a pretty toughh trial
concerning sexual purity. I had literally reached a point where I had just
given up on pursuing purity and righteousness. Although it was not manifested
in my actions but it was re-occurring thoughts in my mind. Why do I have to do
this? Everybody around me is having sex and they are enjoying their lives.
Pssst, this husband that I’m waiting for will he ever come, and how long am I
going to wait when I have guys all over giving me the attention that I have
never had in my entire life. You can imagine how these thoughts drew me away
from God because of the sin of distrust in an omniscient God. When I said I had reached a point where I did
not care it was this bad and although my spirit was defiled because of doubt I
could not bring myself to committing the physical act. But just by thinking
about it I felt separated from God, followed by condemnation. Looking at my
load of school work and the events around me, and how much I felt demotivated
to go on, I knew that I had reached a point where I could not do it by myself
anymore. Now religion would say I have to go and fix myself first before I can
come to God, but He just says come to me just as you are. I want you to understand that unlike many
people who gave you the wrong concept of Christianity. God does not push you
away. He knows when you have tried and when you can’t go on anymore and he’s
there to pick you up.
Oh Lord, fix me!
For the good that I would, I do not: but
the evil which I would not, that I do. ~Romans 7:19
I remember how in the past I was bound by
religion, always trying to live a holy life by my good works yet always ended
up bringing disgrace to my name and to the name of the Lord. I went down on my
knees once again and I said, “God, I don’t want to ever go through that pain
anymore.” On the 15th of April 2012 I encountered you and made a
decision to follow you, make me stick with my decision. I don’t care how I feel
right now, I don’t care what I did or said yesterday, I don’t care about my
weaknesses, I just want you. I did not choose this life for myself, I could
have easily stayed there in the world, or went to another promising religion,
but you chose me so carry me through.
(You don’t chose this kind of life for yourself, God choses you and it’s
up to you whether you answer the call or not. He says many are called but few
are chosen. Mary didn’t chose to be the mother of Jesus, God chose her for
that. It’s the same with us; you choose to answer God’s call for your life.
Lesego Serolong Holzapfel). Being called by God is different from following a religion
blindly. With religion you have to appear strong, respected and holy at all
times but with Jesus its okay to cry out like a baby, it’s okay to humble
yourself like a child. God I can’t do it anymore! I have been spending so many
troubled and sleepless nights crying out for the hand of God because I found
that the things that I should not do, those are the things that I wanted to do.
For the good that I would, I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I
do!! And when I cry out to Jesus I discover that there is therefore now no
condemnation to me because I am in Christ Jesus, I walk according to the spirit
not according to the flesh. And then…grace abounds!
What shall we say then? Shall we continue
in sin that grace may abound? ~Romans 6:1
Being a very religious person before I
encountered Jesus I always walked into sin. I did it intentionally. Nothing
that a Sunday church service could not fix. Nothing that posting a bible verse
on a social network and getting many likes could not fix. Oh, nothing that
false humility could not fix, nothing that a loud prayer in tongues could not
fix. I looked good and holy in people’s eyes and that made me feel good. When
we follow a religion blindly we are setting ourselves up for failure and
mockery that is why I tell people that I have been there. They say you follow a
religion so blindly and I say how can I follow something blindly when I have
been there? It’s all about an encounter.
You see as much as my flesh is throbing to be a slave of sin, I still cannot.
The Spirit of God has taken full control over my body and I can boldly say that
being made free from sin, I became the slave of righteousness. Yes, my mind
wants to throw in the towel and masturbate, my mind wants to watch pornography,
my mind wants to tongue down every guy who’s hitting on me right now, but I
can’t because where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. Freedom not to
sin but freedom to keep away from sin. Aint nothing like religion here. If I
hadn’t encountered Jesus my life would have been destroyed, I would have
probably committed suicide for the fact that I’m ashamed of not being strong
enough to hold on to this cross, but it is the love and strength of Jesus that
draws me closer to the throne room of grace to help in times of need. Oh man I
love this Man Jesus!
Heavenly Father in your sweet precious
name, I pray for the people reading this. Perhaps they have been bound by
religion for so long which made it impossible for them to experience true love
and freedom in you…I don’t know, but you know. Free them Lord, break every
chain of condemnation just like you did with me and give them a fresh encounter
with You King Jesus. We love you so much! Amen
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