I have always attempted writing about God’s love, always found it hard to express it on paper though, simply because I never knew what it really was or how it actually felt! Does this love really exist? A love from an invisible Man? A love told from what non-believers call, a mere story book, the Bible? “For God so loved the world…”, but does He also love me, alone? Me?
When I discovered that the guy I wanted was not the one for me, I was honestly heartbroken! When you invest your time, your emotions, and your will in something and later on find out that your investments were a result of your own stupidity, you will become disappointed, embarrassed and feel like there’s no better life for you! I’m only exaggerating in this case but many people out there feel this way! As much as it wasn’t easy for me to accept that the man I thought I wanted wasn’t the man God wanted for me, I had to let it go and surrender my will to Jesus! In God’s plan, there can never be two wills co-existing; only one, and that is the will of the Father! (Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done. Luke 22:42!)Normally, I would pursue and pursue until I get answers but when a word comes from God personally, you’ll find that pursuing certain things is useless and not worth your time, especially a man! It may not make sense in the beginning however, but you have to trust God enough! It might hurt, leaving the things and people you like has never been easy, but allow God to crucify your flesh despite how painful it gets because there is an unseen glory that awaits!
You won’t comprehend this love I’m about to tell you about if you are still walking in your own will, fulfilling your own desires and pleasures! Christianity to you will be nothing less but a religion and something impossible to live! I got captivated by God’s love the moment I said, “God it hurts, nonetheless not my will but yours be done!” I don’t want to seem dramatic or anything but I thought it would take forever to finally accept what God says and really be free and happy again! It was going to take forever though had I still clung on to what I wanted! I wasn’t going to be able to heal from what seemed like a broken heart and a shattered dream had I still refused to give God all of me, and not just parts of me! It’s never easy to give up something or someone you like, it really hurts, but all you can do in your hopelessness, is wait on God! (Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning! Psalm 30:5b)
God can heal your broken heart; believe it even if you don’t see it! Praise and worship Him, even when your heart is heavy and eyes are filled with your tears! (Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted! Mathew 5:4!)Don’t push God out of the picture, although it seems like He doesn’t care! How can He allow this man to hurt me like this? Why did we even meet in the first place? Why was I so stupid? In your confusion, know that God still cares and has your best interest at heart! How are you feeling right now? Do you feel that you cannot let that man who hurts you so much go? Do you feel that you can’t leave this man although he’s a distraction in your journey with God? Do you feel that you can’t leave him because you don’t understand why God would say he’s not the one? Tell God exactly how you are feeling, He’s not the enemy, He cares! He will provide this love that you long for and turn your sadness into joy! (And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you. John 16:22!) Now question yourself: Why do I want this man so much? What makes me think that I cannot live without him? Am I just yearning for love that I never got from my father? Am I expecting this man to fulfil the void inside of me? Is it the sex that means nothing to him that actually makes me cling on to this man? Or am I with him because I haven’t found anything yet to worship because according to Rick Warren in his Purpose Driven book, were all created to worship! If we don’t worship Jesus, we will worship other people, things, people’s opinions and etc.! If your reasoning counteracts God’s will for your life, you have to let it go! You were not created to constantly have your heart bleeding because of a man; you just can’t afford to do that to yourself! Your heart is more than a golden treasure to God, and He yearns to give it what it needs, love! Jesus desires that you experience this love that He offers, a love that no man can ever give you! Won’t you receive His love right now?
It felt like a dream yesterday and throughout today when I experienced this love I’m trying to tell you about! It is so tender, so intimate, so fiery and so strong! It is out of this world that is why it felt like a dream to me! Just a week ago I was constantly on my knees in tears, walked around with a heavy heart because I couldn’t get the man I wanted, but today all the feelings and memories of my broken heart are gone! (Those that sow in tears will reap joy! Psalm 126:5!) The love and joy that I am experiencing right now doesn’t compare to last week’s hurt and disappointment! It is irrevocable! “Titi, do you trust that I can bring you something better? It is not a man, it is not marriage, it is not great sex-it is MY love!” Don’t miss this love woman! Don’t let your burning passions, lust, and foolishness stand in the way of God’s love for you! “A man is just what he is, a man! He is not God, don’t worship a man! Oprah Winfrey!)
I got so captivated by God’s love a day ago on my way from campus! I just couldn’t wait to get to my room, play some music and worship Him! But when I have this love, I don’t need music to get me “in the spirit!” I know I can just whisper the sweet name of Jesus and He already gives me His undivided attention! When you have this love you make your own music, you sing your own notes to the lover of your soul! I got so captivated by God’s love in my room; all I could do was sing in the spirit and make a melodic tune with my own lips! His love got so deeper and deeper within my spirit! Is this life God? (I came that they may have life; and life abundantly! John 10:10) Is this life where I don’t have to imagine Jesus Christ on the cross but feel Him right there in me and around me? Is this life? Where I don’t have to worship the cross but worship Jesus himself! This is life, where I don’t have to imagine how Jesus looks like in my mind because I can feel His presence dangerously around me! Oh, I am dangerously in love with this man Jesus!
“Yes God, it’s not easy, but I will obey you! I’m releasing this man whom I want so much, in your hands! I am letting go off my will and walking completely in yours! He is yours, just like I am yours!” When Jesus heard me say this, He saw an opportunity to demonstrate what true love is, not what I always imagined love to be! Now I understand the kind of love my friend Jesus talked about when He said, “Greater love has NO ONE than this, that he lay down his life for his friends!” (John15:13!) He didn’t only demonstrate His love for us on the cross, you can experience it now! Only if you go through the temporary pain of laying down your will and allowing His will to be done! There’s a rainbow after every storm and His love is that rainbow! I write this to testify, it is worth it! I love You so much Jesus!
Oh King Jesus, I pray for the person reading this right now! Please fill their heart with your love, this love that is so real! Heal their broken hearts, and help them shut all things and people that causes their heart to constantly be in pain! Healer of broken hearts, breathe your spirit of love into those dry bones! In Jesus name! Hallelujah