Todays blog is dedicated to my friend Gina...
I was quite concerned about my unusual behaviour recently! Who just goes around greeting strangers with enthusiasm? Who just compliments strangers? Who just walks to a stranger and tell them about what Jesus did for them? Who just gives children in the streets the best money they can give? “Only somebody with bi-polar does that,” something answers me! Who just talks with people who have wronged them in the past and still hold no grudges against them? Who just spends their entire day reading the bible or hours praying in tongues? Who feels that updating useless things on Facebook and blabbering about your relationship problems is a waste of time? Who just feels like watching TV all day is a waste of life? Who just prefers to be alone than in the company of gossipers, negative people and people who just have “fun” in life? “Only an anti-social person does that, something answers me! Of course there are people out there who do this but it is something new for me! And I don’t say it to brag or boast, but just to reveal that indeed when Christ comes into your life everything changes!
I have been doing nothing but praying and reading my bible a lot! When I started questioning this, I was convinced by the enemy that I am so anti-social! It bothered me so much that one day I tried to sit comfortably on the couch just like in the past, and watch my favourite soapie! Although this had been my favourite soapi, it just felt too long siting there, trying to look for climaxes in the story line and seem interested like my housemates were! I couldn’t! I tried so hard but I couldn’t! After a few minutes, I went back to my room and did what I usually do during that time-prayed and made my silly noises! I laugh as I say this because even as I pray, I cannot control what happens to me! Who just prays and screams and shouts? “Only an attention-seeker does that”, something answers me!
“I really feel weird these days friend”, I texted my friend Gina on BBM! “Do you ever feel like you’re abnormal? Like you just crazy? I do strange things that I normally wouldn’t do!” Her reply was all I needed to hear! “These days I am not concerned with being normal! I am concerned with pleasing the Lord and running this race!”
As I tried so hard to be “normal” it felt really strange! I never listen to anything but gospel and when I tried to listen to RnB, snapping my fingers, and trying to enjoy it, I became an irritation to my sister! She was like, “Titi what are you doing, you are irritating me!” When I tried to be normal socially, I found myself being less productive in my studies, but finding myself gluttoning in the student centre, complaining and throwing a pity party about how hard school is and end up feeling bad after wards! When I tried being “normal”, I compromised my most important relationship and that is with Jesus! I drifted away from him; I spent less time reading my word, and less time in prayer! When I tried being normal I wanted people to like me! I didnt even want to tell my homecell the truth, just half-truth to seem "normal"! I was never told the truth! I was always told that I will be rich, I will be blessed but nobody ever told me that drunkenness and fornication is sin!
“Being normal is conforming to the standards of the world”, my friend Gina continued! “We believe that Jesus was born from a virgin, we believe that he walked on water, we believe that he turned water into wine, we believe that he was crucified and rose again on the third day?” And just to add, we believe that he ascended to heaven, flied to heaven in a way! “What is so normal about that?” We believe in something that is not normal therefore we cannot be normal! Why should we be concerned about how the world sees us? We are in this world, but we are not of this world! We operate on another level, life with a God who does the impossibilities! Gina was so fired up in her response she continued to say, “We believe that Shadrack, Meshack and Abednigo were in the flame of fire but did not get burned! We believe that Jonah was in the shark’s stomach for three whole days? What is so normal about that friend!!?”
So I came to a conclusion, with all that said by my proverbs 31 friend, I choose not to care how I feel but walk in God’s divine plan for my life! He is the lead singer and I am just singing along to His song! He is the author of my story and I am just walking right according to His script! He is my King and already paved the red or gold carpet for me, and I am just a princess walking in places of royalty!
Another thing God showed me is that as soon as you pray, “More of you Jesus and less of me”, you should really understand what you are saying because that is exactly what He’ll do! More of Jesus and less of me! Would Jesus give money to a street kid and not think that He’s got bi-polar? Yes! Would Jesus go to somebody on the streets and not be hindered by racial issues and compliment them about their nice dress? Yes! Would Jesus forgive those who mistreated him and greet them joyfully when he sees them? Yes! Would Jesus avoid the company of people who get drunk and rather spend time studying and meditating on the scriptures? Yes! “But the Spirit produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control.” (See Galatians5; 22)! Meaning when you accepted Jesus’ call, a seed was placed in you! As you nurture, dwell in the Vine, and allow God to prune it, you will eventually produce the right fruits of the spirit! I find this really amazing! I know the kind of person I was before, but Jesus came, and I get to see him transform me each day from glory to glory! Truly this Jesus lives and not only does He live, but He lives in me! My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me!” Hallelujah! I love You Jesus!