On Decision Making
Q: Reflecting on your life, what was a good decision that you made?
A: Giving my life to the Lord
Q: What was the bad decision?
A: Not surrendering my life sooner than I did even though I knew the truth
Q: Besides Esau trading his birthright, what are some other “trades” people in the bible made? What was the outcome of their decision?
A: Peter traded his relationship with the Lord during the time of crucifixion for his reputation and that resulted in guilt, Samson traded his strength for love which resulted in his terrible death! For the positive ones, Daniel “rebelled” against his government in order to pray to the Lord and that resulted in God doing great exploits for, and in him.
Q: How does Galatians 6:7 apply to consequences?
A: The verse simply says that God cannot be mocked; we will all reap what we sow. We reap later, but more than we sowed. Scripture also says that there is nothing hidden that won’t be revealed, and nothing in secret that won’t become known and come to the light.
Q: What are the ways the Holy Spirit will confirm His will in your heart?
A: He puts desires in my heart to want what He wants. As Psalms34:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart”. Secondly, He puts peace in my heart regarding a decision I’m making, If I feel restless I know that it’s not His will, and thirdly He puts an inner knowing in my heart. Like the saying goes, “You know when you know” when the Holy Spirit guides you, it’s a tug you can’t ignore.
Q: How can consulting with wise counselors help you make decisions?
A: It will help greatly if the counselor’s live Godly lives, have experience in the particular area concerning the decision you’re contemplating, and are also caring
Q: When making a decision, why should you sit down and count the cost?
A: So that you don’t find yourself giving up half way to your goal or having to bear with consequences you did not expect.
Q: What does it mean to walk in the “light God has given you?”
A: It means that at times you may not have a clear picture of where you are going, but as you decide to take a leap of faith towards moving forward, the Lord will shine His light on your path even if it’s only a flicker. He may be shining just enough light on your path to take one step. As you take the step, He will give light for another step, and so on.
On the Enemy (Devil)
Q: What are the distractions you seem to encounter most that keep you from having a great relationship with the Lord?
A: Committing sin even when I know the truth, being fearful of the consequences of the sin (fear), wanting to dabble with worldly pleasures.
Q: What kind of personal attacks does the enemy plot?
A: He works against our salvation and wants to take us back to the life we lived before God saved us. He walks relentlessly like a lion looking for people to devour.
Q: How does the devil attempt to divide people? Have you seen him at work?
A: Through strife, gossip, offences, and un-forgiveness. I have seen him at work in families where members gossip about each other, and in churches where individuals cause strife. Pride also is the biggest sin the devil uses to cause division- where people are unable to humble themselves and ask for forgiveness when they are wrong, but always feel that they are better than others.
Q: Do you tend to underestimate the Devil’s activity?
A: I do. Sometimes I push aside the fact that the spirit world is real more than the natural world, so I tend to live in the moment and take things lightly. For example; watching things I am not supposed to be watching, or listening to music that is not appropriate in advancing the kingdom of God, and sometimes entertaining men whose goal is to lead me to fornication.
Q: How does being a child of God help us in our battle against the Enemy?
A: It helps tremendously because Jesus appeared that He might destroy the works of the devil and he lives in us. If we live in him as God’s children we will live in victory against the enemy.
Q: Do you think the Enemy considers it a victory for him when we keep sinning?
A: Yes, the one who habitually sins is of the devil and he is of no threat to the kingdom of darkness. I think the devil knows that we cannot be effective as co-workers of God if we hold on to the deeds of darkness.
Q: Is there a victory over sin that you would feel comfortable sharing?
A: I don’t know hey. There are seasons where I walk in victory but there’s also seasons where I commit sin- knowingly. The Christian life is beautiful yet sometimes I find myself being so rebellious and angry; like why can’t I do certain things…you know? Its like Paul when he said in Romans 7:22-23 (MSG) "I truly delight in God's commands, but its pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge."The victory that God has granted me is that even when I sin He always leads me back to Him.
Q: Have you experienced a wilderness period in your life?
A: Yes, most part of the year 2016 was. When I consistently felt alone, worried, scared, doubtful.
Q: When have you been most tempted and needed Gods power over darkness?
A: I get tempted a lot in the sins of the body- fornication, pornography, masturbation. I always need God’s power in these areas, and sometimes when I do give in, I get tempted to remain in the sin and give up following God altogether, but I cant.
Q: What are the strategies you suspect the Enemy is using these days to keep us from living in victory?
A: He exploits our weak spots, therefore works to take us back to the life we lived before Christ. He has caused the backsliding of many sincere Christians. He seeks to nullify the deity of Christ, of the spiritual world so that we remain blinded to his activities. He also causes Christianity to be a “show-off” for some people, instead of helping and praying for each other, we envy, or covet, cause strife and want to see who is better blessed than everyone else. I am still trying to figure out what following Jesus is really about. I have head knowledge about it being about self-denial and taking up our cross, but I'm still preoccupied with self. I have been personally deceived that just because I have knowledge about God and vast opinion from various authors; I am walking in God’s will. Until the time of testing comes and the real condition of my heart is revealed.
On Men & Women
Q: Do you agree that women are viewed as commodities in our culture?
Q: What evidence do you see?
A: Men treat women as sex objects and could care less about their emotions. That truly breaks my heart.
Q: How has that cultural belief crept into your mind-set?
A: From an early age I experienced sexual abuse. So since then, I’ve always thought its normal for men to take my body for their pleasure with no resistance from my part. Even as an adult I felt bad saying no to anyone who wanted to have sex with me; but I am learning how to be assertive and take control of my life. Believe it or not but one of my greatest discoveries was the day I learned that I have the right to say NO.
Q: What lessons do women learn from watching porn?
A: We learn that our bodies are not enough. We learn that no matter what we do we will never be able to please a man. We learn that in order to be beautiful and attractive you have to have a certain type of body. We learn not to appreciate ourselves. We learn to covet other women’s bodies and other people’s sexual experiences.
Q: How does the prevalence of erotic imagery in our society affect women’s self-images and sense of self-worth?
Q: Think back to a time when you felt honored by a man. How did he treat you differently from most men in your life?
A: I had drunk wine and sat with a guy on the couch. Being tipsy from wine made me think that I wanted him, but he refused to touch me in an inappropriate manner. He told me that he was not going to touch me even though he knew what I needed. I was impressed by that. I think it’s so sad how in our culture, normal behavior such as this is considered a privilege by some of us, because all we know is men taking from us without even asking.
Q: How does the way men treat women affect how women view themselves? What burden of responsibility does that place on men?
A: I’ve seen how men constantly ill-treated their women either by abusing them sexually, physically, verbally, or emotionally. As a result, women are reduced to nought. They feel worthless. This is something that really breaks my heart. Many males will be accountable to the Lord one day for the pain they’ve caused in the hearts of women, my prayer is that they repent before it’s too late.
Q: Do you think the way women treat men affects how men treat themselves? How so?
A: I don’t know…
Q: How would you define temptation?
A: I’d say it’s a desire we get to go against God’s will
Q: How would you define sin?
A: Sin is living in disobedience to God- anything that is not faith
Q: If you’re willing to share them, what temptations are you struggling with most right now?
A: The temptation to get ahead of God with regards to being in a romantic relationship. Some days I get so lonely and feel that it’s unfair that some people can be in relationships and enjoy sex while I’m still waiting. And sometimes I get angry at God because of that. I also struggle with the temptation to covet other people and what they have. There’s many struggles I guess…
Q: What does it mean to you personally that Jesus understands your struggle with temptation?
A: It means a lot because I know I can always turn to Him after my episodes of anger. He is a High priest who sympathizes with us in our weaknesses because he was tempted in all areas yet without sin.
Q: Wold you agree that when it comes to resisting temptation, trusting in Christ is superior to trusting in your own willpower?
A: Yup, I have failed many times to know that willpower will take me only to a certain extent. I’ve also tried self-help methods yet continued to fail. All that’s needed is for us to call upon the name of Jesus and we will be saved.
Q: How could your friends help you persevere in resisting temptation?
A: By encouraging me to stay the course, remind me of God’s promises and the plans He has for me.
On Weight loss…
Q: You’ve really worked hard…
A: Yes. my my pastor likes to say that “The fruit never lies” , so that is the fruit of hardwork.
Q: How did you do it?
A: I committed my workouts and eating habits to the Lord because Proverbs 16:3 says that we should commit whatever we do to the Lord and we will succeed.
Q: Would you say it’s the grace of God that you lost weight?
A: Definitely! In the past I did everything I could to lose weight because I was never happy with how I looked. Yet still, the weight would not come off. When I admitted my in capabilities and surrendered them to God only then could the grace of God carry me.
Q: Why do you feel the need to show people your weight loss? It comes across as if you’re seeking validation or love?
A: My motive is purely to motivate others. When I look back at my life and see where I am today, I also become so inspired by what God has done for me. I don’t seek love or validation from others at all; there was a time I did but not anymore. Within the 10% who assume that I want validation, there is 90% who are genuinely inspired. Yet again, it’s how we see the world, and I see the 90%.
Q: People inspired by your weight loss journey are going to expect you to maintain your weight, how are you going to do it?
A: I’ll continue with what I was doing before. I’ll commit to eating healthy and work out almost every day and I will commit that to the Lord- the results will lie in His hands.
Q: What are some of the hurtful experiences you’ve experienced in your weight loss journey?
A: I was recently told that someone had been spreading rumours about me saying that I used an injection to lose weight. That kind of hurt me considering the work I’ve put in and people think I took the easy way out. When you’ve accomplished any reward from hard work, and people think that you got it easy it kinda crushes your spirit…my friend told me however that the result is always better if we leave it in God’s hands. So I surrendered everything to God in prayer.
Q: Any advice for those who want to lose weight?
A: My advice is simply surrender your body to the Lord. Ask Him for grace to carry you. Ask Him for willpower to reach your weight loss goal. When you mess up, get on track again- just don’t quit. Drink lots of water, drink green tea, eat lots of fruit and vegetables, get enough rest. Fast one day a week, pray, pray, pray!
Q: How is Moses’ example encouraging and inspiring to you?
A: Moses killed a man, let’s just begin there lol! While hiding out God spoke to him and gave him a prestigious task which really a murderer doesn’t deserve. Even Moses himself formulated excuses as to why he wasn’t a suitable person for the task. However, God did not let go off him. He eventually agreed, but while in the process of accomplishing his God-ordained task, Moses often got angry and let his temper get the best of him. He possessed characteristics not “expected from servants of God”. Yet regardless of all this, the writer of Hebrews described Moses as being “faithful in God’s house.” His story is encouraging because he remained faithful to God’s calling in his life. It’s critical to take our eyes off our inadequacies, weaknesses, shortcomings and put them on what God has called us for.
Q: How will you be required to go against rationale or cultural pressure to stay committed to what heaven is calling you to do in this season of life?
A: The world’s culture is total against the standard in God’s Word, and when you live according to the Word, you are labelled as “extreme”. I think people prefer you do things half-heartedly and that’s quite sad. If I am going to accomplish what God wants me to accomplish, I’ll have to remain steadfast in my conviction, which is shutting my senses to this world’s culture, and believe in the promises of God and the goodness of His heart.
Q: In your own words describe the word faith.
A: Having faith is to believe in God’s Word rather than our experience. When I was finishing off my workout the other day with mountain climbers, I exclaimed “Now these are hard!” I felt the Holy Spirit asked, “Says who?” And I replied, “Well….you know…from experience…”. He brought to my remembrance Watchman Nee’s quote, “If God’s Word be true, then your experience is false.” Meaning, we overlook our experience and circumstances, and believe what God’s Word says! “I CAN DO ALL THINGS” “I’M A NEW CREATURE” “I LACK NOTHING” “BY HIS STRPES I’M HEALED” I’M SANCTIFIED, PURIFIED, JUSTIFIED” and etc
Q: Now describe the term “Being faithful”
A: Being faithful is living life with the motive of serving God and not seeking an applause or approval from human beings for the fruits or works of Christianity.
Q: Would you describe yourself as a faithful person? If so, in what areas of life?
A: I would, though I fall short. I try by all means to be faithful in handling the gifts and responsibilities that my Lord has blessed me with in this current season of my life. Studying, church leadership, taking care of my body, finances, are some areas amongst many.
On Being A Leader
Q: What or whom do you lead?
A: I rule, firstly, myself. Once ruled by sexual immorality and a patriarchal mentality, I discovered that I can lead my own body and mind. I also lead a home cell group consisting of both males and females in between the ages 19-23.
|This pic was taken at a home cell social led by another person|
Q: Is it generally easy for you to lead, or is it difficult?
A: It is not easy at all. I only discovered my potential for leadership three years ago, and before that I lived as a doormat. So now, being placed in a position of leadership right after salvation when I still possessed a worldly mentality, I found it quite challenging to lead. Yet through this short process of time, I have grown quite a lot.
Q: Are there certain areas where it is more difficult to lead than others? Why?
A: Yes there are. It is difficult to lead individuals of the opposite sex who regard your care as you being romantically interested in them. It is also difficult to lead members who are resistant and mistaken your leadership as a way to control them. It is difficult to lead also, people who cannot catch the mission or the vision of the leader, in this case, my church pastor.
Q: As you consider the seeds of leadership that have been placed within you by God, trace these seeds through your life, how has your leadership been developed?
A: As a child, I always undertook leadership positions. In pre-school, I was a “mom” to somebody and always wanted to be seen by others. In Primary School, I was a “teacher” to my classmates, I always managed to assemble them down after school and give them extra lessons LoL. I always led my little sister in playing with me even though she didn’t feel like it. So I would definitely take those minor events as evidence of leadership within me. In high school I became a representative for my fellow grade, always took leadership positions in the church and outside activities with friends. Although then the whole motive was wrong, the drive for leadership was still there!
Q: How do you think the Lord will continue to school you in ways of leadership in the immediate future?
A: I think He will do it firstly through His Word, and then through the Holy Spirit. Moving on to my church leadership, since that’s where my leadership role was ignited and is sustained. He will also do it through the books I read as I touch the great minds of those who are, and those who’ve been such as Dr Myles Munroe.
Q: God’s kingdom is full of leaders. Do you think too many leaders in any kingdom can bring chaos?
A: Nope, I don’t think so. When an institution is full of leaders; responsibility is inevitable.
Q: Have you experienced times when leading and taking dominion seemed impossible? What did you do?
A: Yes, I have. Being a home cell leader for three years now has been a roller coaster ride. I have seen our home cell die and have seen it resurrect. Formerly, Unintentionally, I used manipulative ways to try and get people involved, and now I use only the skill, ability, knowledge, and personality the Lord has given me to lead. I became an effective leader when I stopped comparing my leadership style to that of others, but began searching deep within me to see what God has placed in me, because it’s different from another person.
Q: Did you find the faith to override your fears and doubts, or did you succumb to them?
A: Days are different. On some I override my fears as a leader, and on some, I truly succumb. One moment a voice within me tells me that I am one of the greatest leaders of our time, the next I hear voices telling me that I am not a leader, I am embarrassing myself. It’s not easy but I have decided to be a leader. Although I would love to constantly be praised and recognized, I realize that I won’t get that at many times. I am striving for a life of influence and not of recognition, that’s what keeps me internally motivated.
Q: How might we grow in leadership and dominion for future challenges?
A: We will grow only when we assume leadership positions. Many people shy away from this responsibility believing that they were never meant to be leaders, yet inside all of us there’s a leader waiting to be unleashed. The world might see you in some way, you may even see yourself in a different way, but God sees the leader in you! My church is intentional in producing the best leaders through conferences, workshops, weekly leadership meetings, and I believe that somehow this is preparing me for where I am going, in the work place and in my house as a mom someday. Things might be easier for me in future than for one who refused to take his leadership role earlier.
On being Heaven’s Ambassador on Earth…
Q: Why do you think God chose to communicate His Kingdom through personal representatives and not religious people?
A: Religious people primarily bash God’s laws on people yet they themselves fail to keep it. God wants personal representatives who have an intimate relationship with Him both in private and in public…real representatives who wear no “Christianity” mask.
Q: Why does mankind look to religious people for the “way” to know God?
A: It’s because religious people appear strong and seem to be more in control of their lives when they are on the pulpit in their garments, by simply reciting the bible to others. People seek to be in control of their lives so they look to the person who seems to be in God’s Word. Yet all that religious people do is put burdens on people’s necks without offering them the real way of salvation.
Q: Do you think of ambassadors as a country’s representatives in a political, economic, social, or personal realm?
A: Political way…
Q: What are God’s ambassadors to represent? In what realms?
A: God’s ambassadors are to represent the King (Jesus) and the Kingdom of God ( His way of living), and they do this in both the spiritual and physical realm.
Q: If good ambassadors never speak their personal opinions, how well do you score on speaking only the official policies of the kingdom of heaven?
A: Pheeuw, I score very low. I’m still so preoccupied with myself, my past, my desires and stuff…but I am working towards representing only God’s kingdom by reading my bible daily and reading books from those who have been in the Christian faith much longer than I have.
Q: When God chose Moses to represent Him, did Moses possess certain qualifications in order to be selected? Do you need to possess certain qualifications to be selected as a spokesperson for God?
A: No he didn’t and no; we also do not need to possess any qualifications except the willingness to be used by God.
Q: When God spoke through the prophets, did He use a formula when telling them what to say and how and when to say it?
A: No hey, I don’t reckon there was any formula. In fact I remember these words spoken by the prophet Amos “I was no prophet, neither was I a prophet’s son; but I was an herdsman, and a gatherer of sycamore fruit: And the Lord took me as I followed the flock, and the Lord said unto me, Go prophesy unto my people.”(Amos7:14-15). Basically, the Lord uses whoever He wills, He is the one who chooses us for His own purpose.
Q: Is there a certain formula that God uses when He speaks to you or when He uses you? Why or why not?
A: The only formula that I depend on for hearing from God is His Word from the Bible...many times when I need guidance I just take some time to go through His word, and He always has the words to heal my soul. I don’t know if this is a formula, but how God uses me to reach out to others, is through being transparent about my Christian faith and declaring His love for the nations…
On Discovering the Origin and Purpose of Man…
Q: It was God’s desire to create sons in His image. What parts of His image do you see in mankind?
A: These are the attributes I see in most people I’m close with: Joy, authority, compassion, generosity, forgiveness, righteous anger, concern, and rebuke.
Q: How have you been created in God’s image?
A: I don’t know lol. I’m still trying to figure that out by reading the bible everyday, constantly.
Q: As you look at the nature of God, describe 5 of His attributes that directly deal with man. In regards to each of these 5, tell why you appreciate them and how they have been demonstrated in your life.
A: Grace-When I fall, God gives me another chance to rise again. Mercy-When I feel like giving up, God draws me even closer to Him with His love. Love-When I feel inadequate, He assures me that He still loves me. Forgiveness-When I mess up, He forgives me, and remembers my sin no more as far as the east is from the west. Lastly, compassion-He remembers that I’m dust, and doesn’t punish me according to my sins.
Q: Are you aware of God’s love towards you? Have you received it deeply, or is God’s love difficult to grab hold of?
A: Yep, I'm aware of God’s love for me…all my life I was searching for love, nobody could give it to me the way I needed it. God overlooks my imperfections-that is the love I need.
Q: If God wants us to share in His ruler-ship, how should man prepare himself for such a role?
A: By studying the Bible aka the “constitution” for all believers to know what is required of him, and daily communing with God to allow God to work through him.
Q: How do you gain the necessary tools and instructions to rule effectively?
A: By studying the Word, prayer, seeking God’s Kingdom, being under Godly church authority, and reading Dr Myles Munroe's books haha
Q: Is rulers hip something that comes naturally to you?
A: I've lived so long in the world that so much damage has been caused…I still battle with a mentality of a victim, a servant, a looser, a follower- yet God created me as a victorious princess seated with Him in royalty…many Christians have the same mentality, we are saved but not converted. The only way we are going to survive is by “walking on our knees” being humble before our King Jesus, and depending entirely on His Word.
Q: Describe the borders of the Kingdom of God. Where does the kingdom begin and end? How do it’s boundaries define where and who comes under your ruler ship?
A: God’s kingdom is here on earth hence the first statement that Jesus made when He began His ministry was, “Repent for the kingdom of God is at hand.” Another scripture says that we should not be afraid, because it has pleased the Father to give us the kingdom. The kingdom of God is not in heaven, but here on earth. When Adam and Eve sinned they didn't loose heaven, they lost the kingdom on earth…so the kingdom begins and ends with God through Jesus Christ. We were created to rule on earth, the birds the fish, the sea, our sexual pleasures, our desires, our money-but not rule other people…that’s where the boundary is.
When You feel like a "Nobody"...
Q: Have you ever felt like a nobody going nowhere-like God has forgotten your name?
A: Yeah, very often
Q: What factors caused you to feel that way?
A: When I don’t pray or read my Word as often as I do. When I write a blog and nobody comments, I feel like I totally messed up or something. When I eat too much, funny but true! But yea, many things I guess…
Q: What goals did you pursue to try to feel like a “somebody”?
A: Well in regards with eating too much, I’ve made a goal to attend gym faithfully 5days a week that makes me come alive. Lol. I’ve also set a goal to pray through the Word, and set time apart every day to fellowship with the Lord. It’s always so great because even though I might feel like a “nobody” throughout the day, I know that in the evening when I get down on my knees I have a Father who loves me unconditionally.
Q: Have those efforts worked?
Q: How much of your life is determined by your self-perception?
A: At the moment a huge part of my life is…
Q: How reliable is your self-perception?
A: Not reliable at all because my self-perception has been shaped continually by my experiences in my old life, and obviously, nothing good ever came out of that.
Q: How would your life change if you really believed you are desirable to God?
A: I think it would change tremendously. Let me take the blog thing for an example. I don’t get many people coming to me and saying anything about the blogs I post, (and you can imagine how that makes me feel like a looser) but every time when I go down on my knees I feel a sense of joy and peace, Like God is saying you to me: “Well done good and faithful servant.” We don’t need people’s approval; just those six words from the Father can change your whole life.And also, even when people don't see what you do, a generation will come that will appreciate your work. So whatever it is that you are doing for the Lord, keep on at it. It's your calling. People may feel intimidated or even resent you for doing what the Lord has called you to do, but don't let that affect you.
Q: God knows your calendar from now until you die. Does that relieve your stress about being a “somebody”?
A: Sure it does. I’ve learned that all that is required from me is to just yield to the Lord and say yes to every step of obedience he asks me to take. I don’t have to try too hard to reach my destiny because that will frustrate me. I’ve had enough frustrations in the world, I don’t need that in my new life especially when I have a Father who offers to carry my burdens for me :)
Q: Why do you think many Christians view depression as a sign of spiritual immaturity?
A: I think it’s because people think that once you become a Christian you are no longer a human being, you don’t have emotions, a sense of humour, you don’t get hurt, you are immune to pain and all of life’s unexpected circumstances. Basically, to show that you are a “strong Christian”, you always have to be that tough nut to crack typa person.That is ridiculous!
Q: How does it change your perspective to know that Moses, Elijah, Job, Jeremiah and the others showed signs of serious depression at times?
A: It is comforting actually. And it shows that even though their history is recorded in a supernatural book, the Bible, they were also just human beings like us and managed to carry out their God-given destiny regardless of the depression they faced at times.
Q: When you’re depressed or discouraged, is your focus on the problems you are experiencing or on your response to those problems?
A: most of the time honestly, its always on the problems…I mean we like feeling sorry for ourselves, having everybody feeling sorry for us, talking about depressing stuff…
Q: What ways have you learned to change your focus?
A: I have learned to rely totally and completely on my Father. I go to the word, the psalms to be specific all the time!!!
Q: Which positive action, it can be any, has helped you to overcome depression?
A: Reading the bible definitely, working out and seeing my fat cry (sweat) is always a great sight to see lol, and makes me feel better. I also write out my emotions, writing heals always
Q: When depressed have you wilfully stopped recalling God’s blessings in your past?
A: Oh yes I have, there were even times when I doubted His existence
Q: What happened as a result?
A: I got even more depressed lol, that’s how the devil wants us to feel. He really hates us, well I hate him too hahaha. The devil wants to see us miserable, doubtful, always in pain and living in sin. But we gotta make a choice to rise above this hater and be obedient to God!
Q: What specific, positive step can you take to thank God, or to help someone else in order to demonstrate your confidence in God’s love for you?
A: Transparency…being honest about who I am, where I’ve been, and waiting to see how the Lord will shame My enemy, the devil by demonstrating His goodness in my life by preparing a table for me in the devil's presence…
Q: How would you describe the emotions surrounding infatuation and falling in love? Are they the same thing?
A: Of course not!! Infatuation is for kids; genuinely falling in love is for mature people! When you are infatuated you lose yourself, you have no control over yourself, and everything becomes about the other person. I can only speak for infatuation because I don’t know how genuine love feels like lol
Q: Do you agree that detecting your partner’s values can be one of the smartest moves you make while dating?
Q: How do you get about discovering their values?
A: Observe them while courting. What kinda music he likes. Does he respect his mother or family and other people? Does he love God? What makes him angry…basically just spend time together getting to know each other, (Here I am giving advice to people and I’m single!!! *teardrop*) lololo
Q: Have you ever tried changing another person to please you more, how?
A: Nope, in my life it was all about ME pleasing! So even he does things that irritate me like pulling mucous through his trachea or pulling air through his teeth, he was still my night and shining armour!
Q: Have you ever tried changing yourself to please another person? What was the result?
A: Yea, say for instance I would make myself this “cool and rocking girl” who just doesn’t care about anything, pretending that my life is fun, so let me drink and be merry yay! Deep down in my heart I was hurting. I wanted the other person to see me as cool, but I wasn’t that kinda girl.
Q: On a one-to-one scale, with one being “none” and ten being “a lot”, how much control do you think you we have over our sexual impulses and why?
A: absolutely NONE, I think…we are human beings, sexual beings. We can’t help it. But with the help of the Holy Spirit, we have absolute control.
Q: How does our desire to be “whole” affect our sex lives? Does it differ for men and women, and if so, how?
A: Yup, our desire to be whole affects our sex-lives. An insecure woman would have sex with any man that shows her “worth” or appreciation because of her sex skills, and a man would go around sleeping with every woman, I guess that makes him feel “manly” enough. So ridiculous, cause he’s also losing his worth!
Q: Have you fallen for unhealthy sexual choices (e.g.: if we’re in love, it can’t be wrong)? Why are these choices so seductive?
A: Yup, a whole lotta unhealthy choices. “it just happened, I didn’t know what I was doing”, “the sex brings us closer” and etc…They are seductive because everyone around us is having sex and sees nothing wrong with pre-marital sex. And again when you think that you are in “love” when in actual fact you are blinded by your own lust, pre-marital sex won’t feel wrong, it will actually feel “right” but that’s just your feelings lying to you. If somebody truly loves you, he will not separate you from your only True Love, Jesus Christ by making you sin!
Q: What do you think of the idea of drawing a line when it comes to sexual behaviour on a date?
A: I think its cool…CONTROLLL PLEEAAASSEEE!!
Q: Is it reasonable to think that a couple can make a decision about how far they will go and then stick to it when the heat is on?
A: Yea its reasonable. Make a promise to yourself, and then to your partner, and then to God, that you wont go as far as disrespecting His temple.
Q: If you were explaining to another person a few good reasons to save sex for marriage, what would you say?
A: Besides striving for purity, and the many sexual diseases we have, sex creates a bond between partners that in a later stage expects so much from another person. For instance, when you have sex with your boo and he doesn’t call you for a few days, you gonna get mad at him thinking that he just used you. That is hurting yourself! Pre-marital sex hurts; you make another person who is not even your husband god? You lose your worth, you become lonely, you are dying inside because the nature of God within you is an antagonist with your fornication.
Q: What would you say to a person who was no longer a virgin and was wondering whether they could reclaim their sexual purity?
A: I would tell them my life story :)
Q: What have you learned from watching others go through breakups?
A: I’ve learned that breaking up is terribly painful and can sometimes lead someone to be a pyscho…lol that’s just a term I like using…
Q: What would you say would be good to avoid when going through a breakup?
A: Avoid the embarrassments; don’t compromise your dignity and self-respect by being in denial and stalking the other person hoping that they would change their minds.
Q: Can you think of a time when you stayed in an unhappy relationship (of any kind) because of the security it provided? What allowed you to finally move on?
A: You know, I actually haven’t been in a proper relationship? In all my relationships I didn’t care if I felt unhappy, I just needed something so my happiness didn’t matter.
Q: As the initiater of the breakup, what would you do to make the split less painful for the person you are leaving?
A: I would try and be honest with him; I know it’s not easy. When I re-dedicated my life to Jesus I had to leave my boyfriend at that time, not because of anything he had done, but simply because I couldn’t sin anymore. I was honest with him, it was tough on both of us, but honesty has helped. Now he sees me as “that woman of God” with no chances of going back to the past.
Q: As the person on the receiving end of a breakup, what would you do personally to keep your self-esteem intact?
A: I would (and I‘ve learned the hard way), accept and not be too clingy. I would remind myself that this person aint my god, and I was happy before he came into my life, therefore my happiness will continue. Just don’t do any pyscotic thing like calling them in the middle of the night and think it’s cool you know…
Q: Of all the phases one can expect to experience after a breakup (denial, anger, depression, and acceptance), which one do you think is most important and why?
A: The acceptance phase. If you do not accept that a relationship is over and the person doesn’t want you anymore, you are going to do things that will cost you your self-worth. If a person breakups with you accept it then, if you are in denial thinking that you were meant to be, and you try to convince him, he might come back at some stage, but not because he loves you but because there’s no one else he can go to and you’ve made yourself readily available for him. That’s sad
On Your Journey with Christ...
Q: In the past, how dis you react when you fell? Did you try to cover it up, confess it? Pretend it didn’t happen? What effects did your response have on yourself and others?
A: When I was still a religious Christian I used to blow it big time!! But the thing is I did it on purpose. I always covered it!! No religious person wants his/her fault revealed because they honour men more than they honor God. Now that I am seriously saved, lol, I confess it, that’s what the bible instructs me to do. There is so much liberation in confessing your sins and exposing them because in that way, the Devil no longer has a grip on you! I don’t really know the effect of exposing my fault has on others, but I don’t care much about my reputation or what people think of me, I just really want to please God, and there’s so much joy in that!
Q: Why do you think most people are afraid to expose their sins? What benefits would they receive if they admit them?
A: People are scared of being seen as weak or as hypocrites, but when you hide that’s when you become a hypocrite. We are human beings and we are bound to fall, but that doesn’t give us an excuse to fall willingly you know. The benefit that comes in confessions is the support you get from other Christians who’ve went down the same route, and the unchanging love God has for you.
Q: Is it hard to forgive yourself for your failures? Why?
A: Yes it is, I just don’t like doing anything to hurt the people I love, in this case God. And again, the devil always whispers things in your ears, reminding you of what you’ve done.
Q: Why do you think God is drawn to a broken spirit and a contrite heart?
A: I think that’s the nature of our loving Father. Nothing of this world can impress him. He dwells in our hearts; he’s impressed by the condition of our hearts, not worldly achievements.
Q: How does God’s Restoration of love for David in the bible encourages you?
A: Pheeuw, it encourages me a lot. I’ve been studying the story of David ever since I fell into fornication, and I’ve seen the love that God had for David despite what he had done. If David had stopped pursuing God after he sinned, we wouldn’t have the psalms…come to think of it! He can and will use me too!!
Q: If you asked God if he’s through using you for His glory, how do you think he would respond?A: I think He’d say… “Oh my precious, precious, Titi, don’t you remember the word you always bring back to me from exodus 34: 10? “Behold, I make a covenant: before all thy people I will do marvels, such as have not been done in all the earth, nor in any nation: and all the people among which thou art shall see the work of the Lord: for it is a terrible thing that I will do with thee.” And just disappear..lol
Q: What do you make of the idea that it is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can ever attempt to build a relationship with them. Do you agree? Why? Or why not?
A: I do agree. By compulsively needing somebody to complete us we tend to be clingy and ruin perfect relationships. (Speaking from experiencing). The moment we understand that our worth is not determined by the presence or absence of somebody, then we good to go!
Q: Which lie do you encounter more often between these two: (1) I need this person to complete me or (2) if this person needs me, then I’ll be complete?
A: Personally I always believed the first lie. For some reason I always wanted somebody or something to complete me you know, and that’s not cool at all. And from most people around me, especially the guys, lie #2 hits right on point. A lot of guys I’ve met or known or seen, go around convinced that they’re cool just because some poor girl can’t get over them, and they know that at the snap of their finger, the girl will come back running to them, that makes them feel good I guess…
Q: How willing and comfortable are you to disclose yourself to others and let yourself be known by others?
A: Actually I am extremely comfortable, sometimes it scares me. But I guess that’s just how I was created to be.
Q: What social masks do you sometimes wear that guard you against being vulnerable? When are you likely to wear them?
A: The mask of being “happy” when I’m actually unhappy. I wear it in cases where I’m trying to avoid conflict, and that’s foolish because at the end of the day, conflicts are inevitable in healthy relationships.
Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your current tendency to delay immediate gratification?
A: uhmm…let me think…just like everybody else, I sometimes run out of patience waiting for something expected to happen, so I’d say 3? Yea..it’s bad I know(laughs)
Q: It’s easy to rely on another person instead of God to meet your deepest needs. Why do you think most of us struggle with this idea?
A: I think it’s because God is not a physical being, so as physical people, we want something we can see or touch to give us proper comfort.
Q: Why do you think your family has had more power in shaping your life than any other social force?
A: Simply because from birth the family you stay in teach you many things that your teacher whom you see for a few hours in a classroom can't teach.
Q: In what specific way has your family shaped your personality, your relationships, your values?
A: I grew up in different kinds of places with different kinds of people. But mostly I was made to feel ugly, unimportant, you know, and in my family of origin I was a very quiet member, I never had a say in the family’s business or anything. My role was just to sit there and eat and clean or whatever, so when I got into relationships with other people, I felt really intimidated, feeling that I shouldn’t have a say in any part of the relationship, but always be the silent pleaser who just takes everything as it comes.
Q: If your parents are divorced, how do you think that may impact future relationships?
A: Negatively, of course, my parents divorced while I was still in high school, so when I went to tertiary in the big bad world, I was literally mentally deranged!! I never thought relationships were meant to be forever because that’s what I saw. And when a guy ill-treated me, that wasn’t such a big deal, “it was bound to happen anyway.” That’s wrong, we need Jesus to show us the meaning of true love, mend our relationships, and break generational curses.
Q: What were some of your childhood dreams?
as you were growing up?
A: When I was little, my mum used to call me Miss Universe and I'd feel so proud and happy. That changed however as I got older. I went away to live with my aunts who never really cared whether I had a dream or not, my dad never said anything either. So yes, its a great thing I gave my life to Jesus who made me re-discover the potential that lies within me.
Q: “Every dream or desire you have that comes from God is an invitation for
more intimacy with him.” Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
A: I do agree witht hat statement because dreams are hard to follow. One's gonna need supernatural strength and ability to accomplish them, and that for me can only really come from God!
Q: What’s one of your God-sized dreams?
A: Only one? To write a book!
Q: Which of the lies listed in this chapter did you most identify with? What’s
the truth God wants to speak to your heart instead?
A: One lie I identified with is that I dont have what it takes to accomplish my dream. Coming from a background of mediocrity, it seems really impossible for someone like me to achieve any big thing. I believe that the truth that God wants to speak in my heart is the fact that He uses ordinary people to extra-ordinary things. One verse that always comes to my mind is Mark 10:27, "With men it is impossible, but not with God. For with God all things are possible."
Q: “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against
the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual
forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Eph. 6:12). What’s one thing
standing between you and the dream God has placed in your heart right
now? What’s a way to overcome it?
A: Self- doubt. Sometimes I just don't feel like I can actually do it, you know. Also peoples criticism, especially when I hear it from my loved ones and people I place so much hope in.
Q: Think of someone in your life who is pursuing a God-sized dream. What’s
their story? What have you learned from them?
A: The first person who instantly comes to my mind is Lesego Serolong Holzapfel. I went to high school with her and she was just really an ordinary girl who loved and served God wholeheartedly. She was an orphan so I assume things were pretty hard for her but she never showed it because she had the joy of the Lord. She moved to New York City, got married there, and now she is the most amazing, influential person I know. I really adore her, I look up to her. I cherish every word that she speaks, and any advice she gives because I know that she has been through it all and has seen the faithfulness of God unfolding in her life!
|This is Lesego with her husband! Beautiful inside and out!|
Q: What are three of your strengths?
A: Adventurous, Brave, Creative, let me add more? Funny, imaginative and talented.
Q: What are three of your skills?
A: Teaching, writing, speaking.
Q: Describe a moment in your life when you found yourself saying, “This is
why I’m on earth.”
A: When I'm doing my teaching practical. Standing in front of those kids and having them all looking at me while I teach, yea that's that moment!
Q: Draw a time line of your life showing significant experiences that have
helped bring you to where you are now.
1996-1997: Began reading the Bible alone every night (psalm22), nobody told me anything about the bible, it just intrigued me! Started writing stories, one I remember so vividly is a story about two twins, Moffie and Moffinto, two boys who played a girl! Tell me, what did i know about boys and girls at that age!!? My mum saw it and I was teased for what seemed like ETERNITY!!!
1998-2002: Primary School- started singing in public audiences at the schools awards and things like that.
2003-2007: High School-Accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, attended leadership camps, began serving the less fortunate and doing good services like picking of litter, gardening at the old age homes. I lead, I composed songs and sang them.
2008-: Tertiary, began reading informative books on religion, life's crisis' and everything i could put my hands to!
2011: Lost a massive weight that Ive never lost in my life. This made me realize that nothing is impossible if I work hard at it and remain constant! Sadly, I gained back the weight on, even more because of inconsistency!
2012: Re-dedicated my life to Jesus. Became a CRC member. Started blogging. Became a home cell leader. Joined the Choir. Discovered my purpose in life and changed courses once again (laughs). You cant help it if you discover your purpose and the potential within you!
Q: What else might you need to do to prepare for the God-sized dream in your
A: I think I'm gonna need to obtain a degree? LoL. Hard work, lots of prayer, and commitment to what I want to achieve!
Q: Which of the “You might have a God-sized dream if . . .” statements from
this chapter did you identify with most? Why?
A: I realize that my dream is wayyyy bigger than me. It really does intimidate me. I ask God so often if He's really sure that He wants me to do all this for Him, can He really trust me, does He really have confidence in me? I've reached a stage where I'm not as excited as I used to be about my dream because I realize that it's something that actually has to take place and not just a fairy tale. I have to put in effort and do what i was never willing to do and that can be very uncomfortable!
Q: “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Neh. 8:10). What brings you joy,
energizes you, and makes you feel closest to God? How is that a part of
your God-sized dreams?
A: When I'm typing my blog, when I'm just sitting down writing stuff, when I'm working out, when I am around children, when I'm worshiping God be it in church or alone in my room, Yep those are the "aha" moments in my life! P.S: I don't see school written anywhere there (laughs)
Q: Describe a God-sized dreamer in your life. What stands out most about
them to you?
A: It has to be my Pastor, Pastor At Boshoff! He is so inspiring. He's the founder of CRC, truly one of the biggest churches in South Africa, thus reaching out to a lot of people for God's kingdom. Many are against him, they discourage him by bad mouthing him, yet he doesn't grow weary. If it wasn't for his steadfastness in the faith, I really don't know where I would be today! I'm glad to be such under great leadership! Get planted!!
Q:Where does God have you right now? How can you be faithful where you
are today so you’re ready for where he wants to take you tomorrow?
A: My Father has me in university and I really thank Him for the opportunity to study and make something out of my life. I'm also a home cell leader and a member in CRC. I can be faithful where I am by sticking to my commitments as a cell leader and also as a student. Doing all that I can to achieve the best results I am capable of achieving and winning the lost at any cost. And one important thing: Doing things that HAVE to be done despite external factors such as the weather or feelings or whatever.
Q: What helps you keep your heart open to God, those around you, and the
dreams he has for you?
A: It is certainly God's promises! Things can go so wrong and everybody can be against you, and that's when you have nothing to cling on to but God's promises in His Word.
Q: Who are you encouraging? We all have a circle of influence in our lives (for
example, family, friends, church). Who is in yours?
A: I am encouraging my cell members, my blog readers, my social networks friends, and I believe people around me. I am striving to achieve this: People should not only know about Christ because I talk about Him, but they should see Him in me.
Q: Would you describe yourself as naturally a “glass half full” or “glass half
empty” type of person? What impacts your attitude most?
A: Honestly, before reading this chapter I would have described myself as a "glass half empty" typa person. I was just never positive in life, always settling for less. So yea, I am working towards that. And the reason behind this attitude is how I grew up and the failures and disappointments I have encountered in my life.
Q: What hard no have you said in order to pursue a God-sized dream? Are
there others you might need to say too?
A: The hardest no I've ever had to say was saying no to the devil. Like no devil, you cant have my life anymore. You cant use me anymore. You cant control me anymore. When I gave my life to Jesus I realized that this is the dream that I've actually always wanted to live. And if I broke through that, all these other dreams I have are not that hard to achieve, I believe.
Q: “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life” (1 Thess. 4:11). How do these
words make you feel? If you described your ambition in words, what would
you say? “My ambition is to . . .”
A: They make me feel awkward cause I'm actually a blabbermouth. I like announcing what I'm doing or what I'm about to do, but this verse shows me that it's really unnecessary. The least I can do is pursue my dream in stillness and humility and let the results show. My ambition is to be ALL that God has created me to be!
Q: Finish this sentence: My God-sized dream is to . . .
A: Write a book, build a a primary school, and many others...
Q: Why do you want to pursue that God-sized dream?
A: I wanna pursue my dreams because they're so strongly attached to me, I cant ignore the fact that they're my dreams and I have to accomplish them for God to receive glory.
Q: What’s your LIFE statement?
A: One of my life statements will be, through faith, I will make children feel special by loving and encouraging them.
Q: What do you specifically want to accomplish through this God-sized dream?
A: A lot of children don't receive much love or attention from their families, and I really think its unfair that children should experience rejection, so yea, I want children to know that they are loved, they matter, they are important and are needed.
A: “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that
prevails” (Prov. 19:21). What are three goals and/or next steps that will help
you move forward with this dream?
Q: OK this is something that I need to think thoroughly about...
A: What do you not have right now that you will need along the way to your
Q: I have everything I need, except one thing...here it comes...a degree (serious face). For some reason I think that obtaining my degree will help open many doors into my God-sized dream, I don't know...
Q: How will you celebrate as you take steps forward?
A: Uhmm...Thanksgiving and praising God always. Looking back from where I come from and seeing where I will be, will always be a reminder of God's faithfulness, so yea, I will celebrate by praising Him at all times!
Q: What are your biggest fears when it comes to your God-sized dreams?
A: My biggest fear is facing rejection and disappointments when things don't go accordingly.
Q: What is the truth that tames each of those fears?
A: I think the truth is I am going to face rejection and disappointment several stages in my life, and when that happens I shouldn't let it get so much into me that I stop pursuing my dream. Eventually I will get there if I don't throw in the towel but always getting up on my feet and running the race.
Q: What risks could those fears be pointing out to you? What can you do about
A: The risk to step out of mediocrity, yeah? And do something that I have never done before. After all, I cant expect to do the same thing over and over and expect things to change. So, I'm gonna have to take the risk of going to that mountain, climbing it, keep climbing, until I reach the top. And when I've reached the top, look for another mountain to climb again. That's life.
Q: What do those fears tell you about what’s important to you?
A: They reveal that the important thing is not success or reaching your goal, but it's the journey that's most important.
Q: How does “perfect love drive out fear” (see 1 John 4:18)?
A: When you know that you are loved unconditionally, you are free to take any risk. Even though you fail, you wont have to fear because you know that unconditional love does not fail.
Q: How can these fears expand your faith?
A: By depending more on God. Spending time with Him? Fating...they basically expand your faith by drawing you closer to God.
Q: Describe a time when you felt fear and pushed through anyway. What
A: A time when I was selling lip glosses and mascaras to raise money for my first year anniversary with Jesus. I don't like rejection but when I was selling those products I had to approach different kinds of people, the low classes in the taxi ranks, the high classes in the suburbs. I was rejected and looked down on, but I made lots of cash at the end of the day. So never let fear hold you back from achieving what you want to achieve.
|Theses ladies posing with the products I was selling to them.|
now, who would you like it to be (a good friend, business partner, romantic
A: Right now I'm not sure hey. I mean my ladies and I talk all the time about what we want to achieve, so I assume we share each others dreams? I think I'm fine with my friends sharing my dream with me. We from the same spiritual authority, so we understand each other better.
Q: What’s your definition of success?
A: Uhmm, for me success is achieving everything that you've set yourself up to achieve. It doesn't matter if its short term or long term goals.
Q: Are you discouraged about your dream? If so, write that down here. What’s
the truth you need to hear from God instead?
A: I was after I recently fell into sexual sin. I thought that I could never be anything in life, you know...but I've got my groove back and its bigger and better. God never fails and if He started the good work in me, He will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ, thats what I believe!
Q: When something doesn’t work out the way you plan, do you tend to give
up or try again? What encourages you to persevere?
A: Honestly, truly speaking, I tend to give up easily. I wanna push through that and keep trying you know. What encourages me to persevere is the friends I have. I see how determined they are, never having an option for giving up, and that inspires me to push forward. Oh and my pastor's sermons...
Q: How are you guarding your heart as you pursue your God-sized dreams?
A: I do not allow negative comments bring me down. I don't allow my heart to just get attached easily to things and people. I'm always up for correction although that's the most difficult part because no one wants to be wrong, but we cant always be right. And when something is unrealistic somebody else will be there to tell you.
Q: Are you facing discouragement or disappointment in your life right now?
What does your heart need from God and those around you to move forward?
A: I was a few weeks ago after i sinned, not anymore. I managed to dust myself from the dust and keep it moving. All that my heart needed was God's word so I read my word and shut my ears to the world. From those around me, I got lots of emotional and spiritual support. It was so cool, I cant believe I'm feeling so great today after having fallen in the dark pit of sexual immorality!
Q: None of us are meant to go through life’s storms alone. Who will walk
through the rain with you? Who are you doing the same for too?
A: You know I just discovered that I actually have a friend, and no its not an online "friend" that i haven't met, but shes a physical person. She's like a sister to me, and she is at the moment going with me through the storm, and I believe it's vice versa. Two is always better than one that is why we need godly friendships to help us run our race even during the stormy days.
Q: Write out a short commitment below to never, ever give up on what God
calls you to do.
A: ohkay...I commit to never give up on my journey with Christ and on the dreams he has placed in my heart. I believe that He who has started the good work in me will complete it to perfection until the day of Jesus Christ. I am holding on to Jesus' garment and i know when the storms approaches, He will carry me and save me. he is not a son of man that He should lie. All God's promises are yes and amen therefore they will come to pass in my life. I will keep moving forward and never look back because I know that the rest of my life will be the best of my life! I'm excited woohoo!