Abiding In Truth

“What is truth?” Pilate asked. –John 18:38

With all that was happening during the events leading to Jesus’ crucifixion, I presume many people in the chaotic situation such as Pilate wondered what the truth could be. He asked, “What is truth?” but never got a response. Personally, I have moments in my Christian journey when I contemplate and reflect on what truth could be. I wake up in the early mornings and with all my being strive for truth. In the hope of hearing an audible voice from the One whom I seek, I resort to clinging to the Bible as the only truth. There are moments where circumstances are favorable and in accordance with my morning prayers, but more times also when my faith and the truth I know is tested. It becomes chaotic. Inner turmoil, anger, resentment, and blame towards God are not uncommon in how I feel at this stage of my Christian journey. Yet still, I seek truth.

My experience in a relationship which I consider as toxic drove me to search for truth. Through that experience I realized how easy it is to be deceived by one’s own illusions and other people’s pretense. I went into the relationship with a naïve mindset thinking that the person I was involved with would protect my sexual purity since he had claimed to be a pastor. Anyone can be a pastor these days anyway…does truth even matter when it seems as if anyone can get away with anything? The time I got into the relationship I was not thinking rationally. The mistake I made was that while I was being pursued, I did not take some time to pray and wait, and seek the truth of God regarding the relationship. I got deceived by the idea of being in a relationship without first committing my decision to the Lord and seeking His wisdom, strength, and maturity to be able to handle the challenges that arises henceforth. And then when things did not go according to the vision I had in mind for my relationship, I blamed God- that He could have protected me, why didn’t He?

Nothing will be right if it is wrong. Nothing that is wrong will ever come out right. - CS Lewis

As Christians we tend to establish our lives on falsehood and expect Godly results. We really deceive ourselves into thinking that we can live however we want to live and speak some positive affirmations that will counteract the seeds we are planting through our actions. We expect God to just give us what we want without really loving Him or wanting Him. We want what we want so God must just give us what we want! The Christian life is more than this; it is abiding in the truth. “What is truth?” Pilate asked. The enlightenment to this question in my life comes through sufferings, fallings, and weaknesses. Could truth be forgetting my personal ambitions and desires and follow the route of self-denial? Could it be laying down my wishes for marriage, fame, and riches? Could truth be giving up the need to make decisions that prompt me to cater to my flesh at times when it seems insignificant?

In my pursuit of searching for truth I realize that inevitably abiding in truth should set me free. “To the Jews who believed in Him, Jesus said, ‘If you hold on to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’”- John8:31-32. The fact of always having to bear the painful consequences of our sins is a result of attempting to escape the truth that we know during tempting and challenging moments. We think we could just ‘put in a lie’ here and there and still expect God to work. Our churches are filled with a lot of noise and no operation of the Spirit of God because we have gotten away with falsehood in our little lives and when we get together as a Church there is lack of power but only a show! One other thing is that we tend to make excuses for and rationalize our sins which prevent us from moving forward in our Christian journey.

I tend to blame God a lot regarding the relationship I got myself into. Bursting out in tears I shout, “You should have protected me!” Protected you from what?, you ask. From myself, from deception. But though I desired the right thing, I was willing to compromise and entertain falsehood. As I abide in truth I discover that the excuses I make of loneliness and wanting intimacy are just a make-pretense for continuing in a sinful lifestyle...am I even ready to pay the price that comes with marriage. If I’m not willing to accept the truth that intimacy is found in abiding in Christ’s love, I will embrace the lies that it’s all about pleasures of the flesh. How can God protect me when I want nothing to do with the truth? “Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life” how can He protect me when I don’t want Him but only what He can give me? As I seek the truth I am inspired by Ellen G White’s words, “Satan can present a counterfeit so closely resembling the truth that it deceives those willing to be deceived, who desire to shun the sacrifices demanded by the truth. But it is impossible to hold under his power one soul who honestly desires, at whatever cost, to know the truth.”

We should not make prayers that aren’t aligning with the truth of God’s Word. We should not allow emotions though they’re so powerful to stray us away from the truth that we know. We should not allow the confusion and chaos of our circumstances to cause us to forget the truth of God’s promises, lest we be deceived by counterfeits.