“…You may be sure that
your sin will find you out.”- Number32:23
Many
Christians upon recalling the above verse live in fear that God is ought to
expose their sin for the entire world to see. Even I had a distorted view of
what the verse says in my attempts to scare people from sinning. Until I myself
committed sin when I least expected it. I expected God to give me the same
treatment that I had given towards others; unmerciful, judgmental, the attitude
that I am better than you. These might not be portrayed externally, but they
are sublime deep-seated messages that reside in the heart of the self-righteous
man or woman. Self-righteousness does not only appear early in our Christian
walk. It surfaces along the way when it seems as if we are doing well, when it
seems as if we have “mastered” the journey.
Any form of
disobedience to God’s Word is sin. But we all have that particular sin which
after being committed can potentially break us down. You know; that sin that
you vow to never commit in your life. A time comes when you find yourself
living with the same sin you vowed never to commit; but this is a defining
moment in your life- a moment of going on with sin or giving it up to walk in
continual repentance that produces the fruit of God. Repentance is one of the
most beautiful things about the Christian journey. As servants of God at times
we use it in an inappropriate manner, our tone is not right, our attitude, we
scream at people to repent, but repentance is beautiful when it comes from the
heart of Jesus. Repentance simply means that today, at this moment right here,
you have a chance to walk away from anything or anyone that is taking you away
from God. Sometimes you have to disappoint people to walk in God’s precepts;
and leave behind some things and it will hurt for a while but you will be freed
from harm. A distinction should be made between hurt and harm. Repentance may
hurt for a certain time, but continuing in sin will harm forever. I am
convinced that as a child of God, nothing can ever go right in your life if you
choose to live in disobedience to God. His love for you propels him to
discipline you even if it means using your sin to find you out!
Now, this is
not something I read in a book, it’s something I experienced in my own
life. My own sin found me out! I lived
in disobedience to God for a season all the while meeting up with other believers
at Church and home cells. At first I was determined to repent until I just got
the “hang of it” believing that I will be comfortable living a Luke-warm
Christian life. I enjoyed the sin but I always felt a tug that reminded me that
this is not how a child of God is supposed to live. The uncomfortable feeling
was worse when I came in the presence of other Christians. Their happiness
annoyed me. They looked to me like pretenders claiming to be holy but living in
sin just like I am of course. While they were joyful living in their authentic
selves I shrank away in timidity afraid that my sin will be exposed. My sin was
finding me out. This verse does not say that my sin will be found it, it says
that my sin will find me out. It is my own sin that belittles me, it is my own
sin that eats me away. It is my own sin that prevents me from freely serving
God, it is my own sin that steals my God-given identity. Is your sin finding
you out son or daughter of God? God is not in the business of exposing His
children to be humiliated by the world. I waited and waited upon that moment
but all I ever got was relentless invitations of repentance. I could not
understand how God could be so loving, how could he keep my hypocrisy covered?
I found myself uncovering it myself, being open with the same believers I was
annoyed at, and oh what an over flood of love! There is no place as beautiful
as God’s Church. In the world there’s so much cruelty, gossip, anger, competition, but
in the Church of God there is love. Sometimes the world sees the Church as
something that it’s not (cruel, judgmental) but Christians are the most loving
people- they just live according to God’s standards of hating sin and loving
righteousness. Next time you feel that you are being judged by other people;
ask yourself this question: “Is my sin finding me out?”
Living in
sin while chosen by God is the worst thing anyone can ever do to themselves. The
Bible admonishes us to think thoughts that are true, noble, right, lovely,
pure, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. But this won’t be our reality
when living in sin because we won’t help but be anxious, fearful, and worried
about the consequences of our sin. God’s will is not for us to live bound by
such, but to live in righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost!
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