“…You may be sure that your sin will find you out.”- Number32:23
Many Christians upon recalling the above verse live in fear that God is ought to expose their sin for the entire world to see. Even I had a distorted view of what the verse says in my attempts to scare people from sinning. Until I myself committed sin when I least expected it. I expected God to give me the same treatment that I had given towards others; unmerciful, judgmental, the attitude that I am better than you. These might not be portrayed externally, but they are sublime deep-seated messages that reside in the heart of the self-righteous man or woman. Self-righteousness does not only appear early in our Christian walk. It surfaces along the way when it seems as if we are doing well, when it seems as if we have “mastered” the journey.
Any form of disobedience to God’s Word is sin. But we all have that particular sin which after being committed can potentially break us down. You know; that sin that you vow to never commit in your life. A time comes when you find yourself living with the same sin you vowed never to commit; but this is a defining moment in your life- a moment of going on with sin or giving it up to walk in continual repentance that produces the fruit of God. Repentance is one of the most beautiful things about the Christian journey. As servants of God at times we use it in an inappropriate manner, our tone is not right, our attitude, we scream at people to repent, but repentance is beautiful when it comes from the heart of Jesus. Repentance simply means that today, at this moment right here, you have a chance to walk away from anything or anyone that is taking you away from God. Sometimes you have to disappoint people to walk in God’s precepts; and leave behind some things and it will hurt for a while but you will be freed from harm. A distinction should be made between hurt and harm. Repentance may hurt for a certain time, but continuing in sin will harm forever. I am convinced that as a child of God, nothing can ever go right in your life if you choose to live in disobedience to God. His love for you propels him to discipline you even if it means using your sin to find you out!
Now, this is not something I read in a book, it’s something I experienced in my own life. My own sin found me out! I lived in disobedience to God for a season all the while meeting up with other believers at Church and home cells. At first I was determined to repent until I just got the “hang of it” believing that I will be comfortable living a Luke-warm Christian life. I enjoyed the sin but I always felt a tug that reminded me that this is not how a child of God is supposed to live. The uncomfortable feeling was worse when I came in the presence of other Christians. Their happiness annoyed me. They looked to me like pretenders claiming to be holy but living in sin just like I am of course. While they were joyful living in their authentic selves I shrank away in timidity afraid that my sin will be exposed. My sin was finding me out. This verse does not say that my sin will be found it, it says that my sin will find me out. It is my own sin that belittles me, it is my own sin that eats me away. It is my own sin that prevents me from freely serving God, it is my own sin that steals my God-given identity. Is your sin finding you out son or daughter of God? God is not in the business of exposing His children to be humiliated by the world. I waited and waited upon that moment but all I ever got was relentless invitations of repentance. I could not understand how God could be so loving, how could he keep my hypocrisy covered? I found myself uncovering it myself, being open with the same believers I was annoyed at, and oh what an over flood of love! There is no place as beautiful as God’s Church. In the world there’s so much cruelty, gossip, anger, competition, but in the Church of God there is love. Sometimes the world sees the Church as something that it’s not (cruel, judgmental) but Christians are the most loving people- they just live according to God’s standards of hating sin and loving righteousness. Next time you feel that you are being judged by other people; ask yourself this question: “Is my sin finding me out?”
Living in sin while chosen by God is the worst thing anyone can ever do to themselves. The Bible admonishes us to think thoughts that are true, noble, right, lovely, pure, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. But this won’t be our reality when living in sin because we won’t help but be anxious, fearful, and worried about the consequences of our sin. God’s will is not for us to live bound by such, but to live in righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost!