My purpose is to do the will of God (5)

continues from previous blog...

I haven't seen Jesus face to face, and I can honestly assure you that I have moments of unbelief. But I can’t deny the saving He has done in my life since the day I called upon in His name. I don’t know what a distinction is apart from my Jesus. I don’t know what self-love, acceptance,purpose, abundant life, or liberty is apart from my Jesus. I am not saying that because I left the guy for His sake He now owes me a perfect man. No; all I'm just saying is that I believe He is alive and I want to honor Him and keep His commands.He created me and He knows what is good for me. Just like everyone else I desire to love and to be loved, to enjoy healthy intimacy, to experience a fulfilling family life- but I can’t do it when I’m at war with myself. My purpose first and foremost is to glorify Jesus and to enjoy Him every moment of my life whether single or married. Having a spouse is not proof that I am in God’s will because many times we rush into relationships for our own pleasure and to prove to people that we are able. Most of the time we also covet other people’s relationships so we find ourselves forcing things even when we know that it's not yet time. 

I think the guy is amazing and I learned so much from him! What I learned also is that some people come into our lives for a season, and just because they change our paradigms or they don’t take advantage of us sexually, it doesn’t mean that they were meant to go into the future with us. If I were to do it all over again, I will choose my Jesus over this guy anytime even if it means having to be single for the rest of my life, I don't mind. I am not desperate for marriage or “legal sex”, I am desperate to do Gods will revealed in His Word. The world and its desires passes away, but he who does the will of God will abide forever.