When I went to Schweizer-Reneke I had a mission and a mandate: To preach the gospel to every living creature, pray for them and get them to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior! The first few days went as expected. I was able to minister to the hopeless and present the hope of our Lord Jesus Christ to them! I had older women sitting around me while I ministered and preached about the importance of purity and striving for holiness! I had people personally coming to me asking for prayers and bible scriptures that they could read when they get back home! I was extremely honored and excited during this experience that one evening I decided that in the morning I was going to go to the community clinic to preach the gospel! I was actually more clouded by my excitement than the guidance and leadership of the Holy Spirit! We have to understand that we cannot fulfill the commission in our own strength, wisdom, emotions, or ability only through the guidance of the Holy Spirit! I went to the clinic all pumped up, carrying my bible but when I got there I couldn’t even do anything! I sat down looking at everybody passing by, wondering if I should approach people passing through the gate, wondering if I should just stand in front of them and start preaching! Wonder is the first sign of doing things on your own strength. I felt so helpless, powerless, and ineffective because I couldn’t do anything! I felt eve more useless when all I saw was women abusing their children! I left the clinic having not accomplished anything and feeling like a looser-this is how you will feel when you push God aside and try to save the world in your own strength! Why did God make me like this? Why does He give me so much love and compassion towards the broken hearted the captives, the bound and the meek? I questioned Him trying to shift the blame on Him, while all along it was my fault! When you try to do things in your own might and power, God steps aside and watches you! Understand that God gives the grace and you have to walk under that which He gives, if not, we fail and give up! “I can’t just give up now! Come too far from where I started from! Nobody told me that the road will be easy, but I don’t believe He’s brought me thus far to leave me!”
Start right where you are…with what you have…
I was on a ramp on twitter, asking what I can give to these children! “Love”, was the reply I got! That one word changed my whole perspective! I thought I should be rich and have an ample of money so that I could go around dishing it up to the poor and broken hearted! Love is enough! God gives seed to the sower: you might not have much but you already have enough to get you started! Money won’t fix everything, sometimes all that people want is your love, your smile, your gentle touch, your attention and your time! When I got home I looked at all these children around me, and I knew that they also needed what I had to offer-love! I rush to the clinic wanting to change the whole society yet the household I live in is not changed or saved! I decided then to give all my love to my seven year old cousin! Spending time with him made me feel better from the bad day I had! I told him the story of Jesus from the gospels, also told him about the beginning of creation-the story of Adam and Eve! He was so intrigued and excited, asking me so many questions which I was patient enough to answer! Before he slept he asked me if we could pray together in private because there were a whole lot of people in the dining room where we were sitting! (Mind you, this is a boy who is always told by his mother and people around him that he is ugly, useless, worthless, naughty, and all kinds of swear words you can think of!) I went to the kitchen with him, sat down and he began to say in tswana: “God, I know that I am a naughty boy! When adults ask me to do something I pull a face! Like today when they asked me to fetch a mop, I lied saying that I could not see it because I didn’t want to wipe off the spilled water!” He continued exposing all his secrets and eventually said…” But God today I’m going to ask you a few things that I would like you to do for me! I ask that you give me a play station, a water gun, new shoes, air forces, you know them right” He mentioned everything that he wanted describing it in full detail! When he was done and said amen I was almost at a point of tears, extremely touched! I learned much from him more than he did from me, I learned how to pray!
A child’s faith…
I tossed and turned in bed that evening wondering how in the world this boy was going to get all that he wants when I told him that he can ask for anything and he will get it! I wondered if I should use my toiletry money and buy those for him, what shall I do to prove to this little boy that there is a God and this God loves His children and answers their prayers! But God doesn’t want us to prove anything, He just wants us to have faith in Him that He is able and He can, and will do all that we ask for if it’s according to His will! In the morning while I was still asleep, you know these children get up very early; he came over to me holding a new pair of shoes and said, “You were telling the truth!” Apparently he got the shoes from our next door neighbor; she freely gave them away because they did not fit his child! Stop spending nights in worry wondering how you will receive this and that, if your hope is in God and you pray, He has all your needs covered! (Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you! Jeremiah 29:12). Like this child, put down your expectation on the operation table, have faith in God, and go to bed knowing for a fact that your tomorrow has already been taken care of! ( Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Mathew 6:26).
Later on that day he came running to me grabbing my hands and telling me that we should pray! He didn’t even waste time he just started praying for everything that he wanted! The joy I had in my spirit was not comprehendible! (Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these! Mark 10:14). I went through the whole process with him, explaining that our God is not a God of magic; sometimes He withholds things from us for our own good, for something better so he shouldn’t get discouraged when things don’t come immediately! I also taught him to thank God for the things that he already has while he waits for the things to come! This made him want to pray every night for the same things over and over, as a “reminder” to God.
This experience taught me that working for God doesn’t mean that you will change the world in a day or in a short time! You can spend weeks ministering to one single person who will then be empowered to change the community in which he lives in when you are no longer there! What is better, to go around preaching to people who don’t even take you seriously or minister to a single person who is sincerely hungry for the truth! He will carry out this principle all his life because the word you taught fell on good soil! Dare to instill knowledge, hope, faith, and love on a single person who will change the world which you so wanted to change but couldn’t because it was not a task ordained you! You don’t have to feel frustrated when doing God’s work, His grace is enough to carry you through, just be available and obedient! My advice would be: work under God’s authority or don’t work for him at all!
|This is my 7 year old cousin! on this paper he wrote: I love Jesus, God is my everything! I am a star shinning bright! I am destined for a great life!|